Guns and Roses
by rockyhorrorgirl
Summary: A Civil War nurse, Esme Platt, helps a wounded confederate soldier who repays her by introducing her to his father. Follow them through the decades up until now as a new story for the parents of the Cullen family is told.
1. Chapter 1

"All right Davidson, let's check those gunshot wounds, shall we?"

"Yes, ma'am."

I gave a smile as I unwrapped the bandages from around his leg - he was lucky he hadn't lost it, really. With as many men that did, clearly he had been saying his prayers right. It was almost healed, and he'd be shipped home within the week because of his injury - I'd be sad to see him go. I loved each of my patients, and took care of them as if they were family.

"Looks good." I told him, running my fingers gently across the wound that was mostly healed now. "Should be gone by the time you get home."

"Glad to hear it." He grinned. "Although none of the ladies at home are as pretty as you."

"Oh, don't you even start that." I playfully slapped his chest as I changed his bandages, re-wrapping the wound carefully to keep it from getting infected. I knew how to do it quickly and carefully - I had been a nurse for nearly eight years now. I had gone into medical training at eighteen, and started working at a hospital at nineteen, and they had sent me to a Northern war hospital in Ohio sometime last year when the war had first started. I was head nurse of the fourth floor ward as of a few months ago.

"I'll come back and check on you later. Get some sleep." I told him and he nodded, falling back in his pillows with a half grin.

"Yes, ma'am."

I shook my head at him and pulled the curtains back, stepping out of the area. Other patients lay in rows, some of them shrouded by the curtains - mostly those were the ones injured terribly. Others I could see sitting up in bed flipping through a book or newspaper. I was familiar with most of the patients on my ward, even more so with the ones that had been here for several months.

"I've got to run and pick up something from the post office, Mary." I told one of the other nurses along my ward. "Something for Dr. Robinson. I'll be right back. Keep an eye on things for me."

"Of course."

I gave a smile to the young girl before I headed for the stairs that led down to the lobby, stepping out into the mid-afternoon sun. It felt warm against my skin, soaking through the white of my uniform as well. I smile and stood there for a moment with my face toward the sky, eyes closed, soaking it in. It was one of the last few warm days before fall hit, and the cold of winter would overtake us and mark the end of the third year of war.

I prayed every day that the war would soon end, but for two years since the war had started, my prayers had gone unheard. We still had several injured patients in the hospital from the battles at Antietam, Fredericksburg, and Gettysburg. Not to mention it was over slavery. I didn't approve of slavery of course, but to start a war over it seemed a bit ridiculous in my opinion. Innocent people were being killed and hurt, and families were being torn apart. It broke my heart to know the numbers of people that died.

The post office wasn't far from the hospital, so I walked, passing other members of the town - well, small city - of Ashland, who gave a smile in my direction or a simple nod of the head - I was a familiar face. Humming quietly to myself, I hurried down the sidewalk, avoiding running into others with practiced grace until I reached the post office.

"Good afternoon. I'm here to pick up a package for Dr. Robinson?"

I was handed a wrapped package and with a smile and a 'thank you' I was out the door. I began to work my way back toward the hospital, my nursing duties calling my name.

However, something caught my attention.

I didn't know what it was, but something made me look down one of the alleyways between two of the buildings. I saw a man there - he didn't appear to be the homeless sort that usually frequented the alleys, but he appeared to be in pain. I had an internal debate for a moment - could it perhaps be a trick? To lure someone there so he could attack them and take their money?

My other instincts overrode those thoughts, however, and I turned down the alleyway with a sigh.

He looked up as I approached and attempted to scramble away, but flinched in pain.

"Don't. I'm not going to hurt you." I said gently, placing the package on the ground a few feet away and moving closer toward him, slowly and cautiously. I kept my hands up so he saw I held no weapons or anything to hurt him with. "I'm a nurse. I just want to help you."

"I'm fine." He ground out between clenched teeth.

"You're not." I continued, insistent. I had patients who insisted they were fine all the time. "Please, let me help you."

He didn't say anything as I knelt. He was clutching his arm tightly - I gently peeled away his hand and straightened his arm. It wasn't broken, at least. I glanced at his face, which was contorted in pain, before I began to roll up the sleeve of his shirt. I bit back a sharp gasp.

His arm appeared to be scratched all over, but on closer inspection I noticed it was in fact bite marks that marred his pale skin. It was odd because of that, and because he wasn't bleeding. I blinked, hesitating a moment before I looked back up at his face.

"We need to get you to the hospital." Was all I could say.

"No. No doctors. No hospitals." He muttered. "It'll heal soon. Just hurts."

I dug into my pocket, trying to find the painkillers I had been intending to give to another patient. I held them out to him.

"It'll help." I said quietly. He stared at me with the oddest colored eyes - an amber color, almost like liquid gold. They were a bit dark though, and made me nervous.

"Thank you." He took the pills from my hand and as he did, I felt a wave of calm wash over me. I gave a gentle smile, shifting my position on the ground as he dry-swallowed them. Trying not to think about his arm or why he wasn't bleeding, I tried to distract him until the pain killers kicked in.

"So you're from the south." I said and he nodded. I had recognized his accent. "Are you a soldier for them?"

"I was until a few weeks ago. They think I'm dead." He replied, resting his head back against the brick wall of the building he was leaning against. Even though I was technically supposed to be against him, he seemed nice. Besides, I was a nurse and we weren't supposed to care who was north and who was south. So I didn't. He could have been foreign for all I cared.

"What's your name, soldier?"

"Jasper Whitlock Cullen, ma'am."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Cullen. I'm Esme Platt."

I saw something spark behind his eyes, as if he recognized the name. I said nothing about it, however, my focus more on getting him to feeling better than anything.

"I thank you for taking care of me, ma'am."

"It's what I do."

We sat in silence together for a long moment - I would be late getting back to the hospital, but I was sure they could handle it without me. The man, Jasper, had his eyes closed now, trying to hide the winces on his face every time he moved his arm.

Before my eyes, I watched as the bites slowly began to heal.

They grew smaller the longer we sat there, until some of them started to turned into raised scars, crisscrossing all up and down his arm. It had to hurt - but my mind was trying to figure out what had happened to him, and how the hell he could heal like that. I'd never seen anything like it.

"Weird, isn't it?"

I looked up at his face and nodded.

"You get used to it after a while."

I glanced back down at his arm, then back up to his face.

"What are you, Mr. Cullen?"

He chuckled.

"Now that, Ms. Platt, is my secret."

I gave a wary smile that he returned.

"Do you plan on returning to the war?" I inquired, anything to keep him talking. I found it was easier to keep my patients talking and such to help with the pain.

"I may. I may not. I've got a wife down in Louisiana waiting for me, so I might go back home to her. Plus my father and brothers and their wives are there as well. They didn't like me going off to war."

"I'd imagine I wouldn't like it too much either if you were my son." I gave a shrug. I couldn't imagine anyone liking their sons, brothers, uncles, fathers, nephews, or grandfather going off to war. My own father had gone off at the beginning of the war - last I had heard in a letter from home was that he had died. My husband, Charles Evenson, had been killed last year. To me, it wasn't a big loss. I'd hated him - he'd abused me, beaten me within an inch of my life several times. In a way, I was glad he had died.

"You're a kind lady, ma'am." He gave a half smile again and made moves to get up. I got to my feet and grabbed his uninjured arm, helping pull him to his feet. I returned his smile once he was up on his own two feet.

"You okay?"

He nodded, gingerly taking a step forward. His weight held, it appeared, so he took a few more steps, then turned back to me.

"Thank you for the help, Ms. Platt."

"Not a problem, Mr. Cullen. Is there anything else you need?"

"Not at all. I'm leaving first thing in the morning for Louisiana." He replied, stretching his arm, testing it apparently as he cracked it, then rolled his head along his shoulders.

"Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?"

He looked at me with a troubled expression.

"No, I was just going to -."

"I don't want to hear it. You can stay with me for the night. That way I can keep an eye on your arm, and I can escort you to the train station on my way to work tomorrow morning." I replied, stern. I wasn't about to let him not have somewhere to stay for the night - nights in the north got awfully cold. The other nurses could cover my shift, and I would cover theirs tomorrow night. He seemed a bit uncomfortable at the thought the more I studied him. "But, if you'd rather stay out in the cold, you're more than welcome. Although, I do believe it might rain soon." I continued.

"Oh, I won't turn down your hospitality, ma'am. I thank you." He said, and offered me his arm. "If you'll lead the way."

So led the way I did, to the small home Charles and I had once shared. I stayed alone in it now - it would be nice to have some company for the night. It had started to rain on our way, so as we stumbled in the door we were both soaking wet.

"Hang on, I'll get you some new clothes. You look like my husband's size." I said, pulling my hair out of the bun I had it pinned back in, letting them tumble over my shoulders so they would dry.

"Are you sure your husband will be okay with me staying the night?"

"He died in the war last year. I'm the only one here." I replied.

"Oh. I'm sorry, Ms. Platt."

"Don't be. I'm not." I took his coat and moved into the parlor, laying it across the grating of the fireplace so it would dry. "Help yourself to anything, make yourself at home. I'll have you some new clothes in a moment."

He nodded and I headed upstairs, into my bedroom. In the back of the closet I pulled out the clothes of Charles' that I had packed away, intending to burn them. At least someone could get some use of them better than I could.

I couldn't get the strangeness of my new guest out of my mind. His arm had healed in front of my eyes, and he didn't bleed. There was something wrong there, and I probably should have questioned it more, but he hadn't wanted to tell me. Something in my mind was keeping me relaxed about it, and I couldn't figure out why either. Something told me to trust him, so I was.

I change quickly as well, into one of my more comfortable dresses as I carried the clothes downstairs. He was standing near the fire, flipping through the pieces of paper I had left sitting on the mantle.

"Those aren't finished." I said and he glanced up, shuffling them back together and replacing them on the mantle.

"You like to design building then?" He asked. He had been looking at the blueprints and design plans I had been making of a home I had always desired.

"I do. It's a hobby of mine. When I'm not busy at the hospital, I work on them."

"They're very good."

"Thank you." I held out the clothes to him. "These are for you. There's a bathroom down here if you'd like to change there."

"Thank you."

I nodded and he left to change. I hung my nurse's uniform along the same grating his coat was so that it would dry as well. I went into the kitchen, preparing to make tea.

My evening with Mr. Whitlock was uneventful - I left him to the guest room after we spent the evening in the parlor. He didn't eat, but had looked exhausted because of the dark circles under his eyes, so I had retired early myself so he could perhaps get some sleep.

In the morning he declined my offers of breakfast, so after I had changed into my uniform for work, we headed down the street toward the train station.

He seemed uneasy the entire walk there, and it in turn made me feel uneasy. I stood by as he bought himself a ticket on the next train to Louisiana. We moved to wait on the platform with a few others, including a businessman, a young mother and son, and three girls who seemed far too beautiful to be standing there and waiting for a train. Enchanting really, they were. I tried to ignore their slightly odd presence.

"Be careful traveling down there." I said to Jasper, who nodded. "Dangerous place."

"You're telling me." He mused. "But I believe the creatures that lurk in the swamps should be more afraid of me than I am of them."

I didn't want to know what he meant by that.

The train whistle echoed in the distance, signaling it would soon arrive.

"Mr. Jasper Whitlock Cullen."

We both looked up – the three girls from before were now in front of us. Something instinctively made me take a step back, afraid. They didn't look threatening, but the odd color of their eyes made me nervous. Jasper stiffened beside me.

"Can I help you young ladies?"

"You wouldn't be going back down to Louisiana now, would you? We have a deal." The dark haired one said smoothly in a gentle tone. She barely gave me a glance.

"I'm afraid I have other business to attend to. If you'll excuse me, I have a train to catch."

The train had rolled into the platform and others were starting to board, some getting off the train. Jasper took a step toward it, but the girls blocked him. Now their focus was on me.

"I see you found a new pet. Care to share?"

"Go away." He snarled in a voice I had yet to hear come from him. The snarl sounded unnatural, like it shouldn't have been coming from someone like him.

"Hand your new pet over, and we'll consider letting you off for a bit of a vacation before you come back to work for us." One of the others said. The way they were looking now looked . . . as if they were hungry. Like I was a meal. I tried to shrink back, but Jasper caught my wrist.

"Get on the train, Ms. Platt." His southern voice said deeply in my ear. "Now. I'll catch up."

I didn't dare disobey, and instead broke off at a run toward the train, climbing up onto it. Someone screamed behind me and I whirled – but Jasper was already shoving me onto the train and down a corridor, flashing two tickets to the conductor – I didn't know where he had gotten the other ticket. Down a hall, he tugged me into a compartment, shut the door, and drew the blinds as the train lurched to life beneath us with a small jerk.

I began to panic.

"No! I have to get to work! Tell them to stop the train!"

A wave of calm crashed into me like a tidal wave.

"It's safer you're on this train, believe me." He said slowly and I realized them he was clutching his arm again. "You can take another train back up when we get to Louisiana.

Irritated now, I gently shoved him down in the seat and tugged his shirt sleeve up, this time a little less gentle. A few more bite marks were now visible – open and gaping, but not bleeding, just like before.

"What in the name of God just happened?" I inquired, sitting down across from him. He gave a chuckle.

"Just some ladies who aren't too pleased with me." He said. "They're like me too. And they would have killed you just for being around me."

"I noticed."

Had I realized helping this man would have gotten me killed, I probably would have just continued walking toward the hospital yesterday afternoon. Now I was stuck on a train with some freak of a man who wouldn't tell me what in the name of God was up with him, and three girls just like him now hated me because I had been escorting him to his train.

What a great day.

I had only been on a train once before, when traveling to meet some relatives. Seeing as I was stuck on this one for a while, I shuffled over to sit by the window, watching the landscape pass me by.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I looked up, blinking, to see Jasper pulling his jacket back on. The train had stopped and it was dark outside – how long had I slept?

He said nothing as he escorted me off the train and onto a platform. It was warm, and I could hear some sort of music playing in the distance. We were in Louisiana now, evidently.

"So when can I get my train back home?" I inquired as we shuffled across the platform. I felt out of place in a Southern place – I was a Northern girl.

"Tomorrow. You can stay with me tonight – it will at least give me a chance to repay your hospitality."

"I thought you lived with your father and brothers."

"I do. They won't mind. They already know you're coming."

"And how's that?"

He didn't reply as we left the train station. We weren't in New Orleans – that had been taken over and literally trashed by the Union army.

"Wait here." He said, leaving me standing outside of the train station. I nodded, feeling a bit awkward the more I looked around and took in the small town sights around me. Most of the men and women were walking or traveling by horse down the streets, passing me by without a second glance.

Something nudged my shoulder and I turned - Jasper sat atop a dark colored horse, hat drawn down over his eyes. He looked like he belonged up there. I could almost imagine him in a confederate uniform, marching with the army across the land atop a gorgeous horse.

"We'll be traveling by horse the rest of the way."

He extended a hand down and I hesitated - it would be a bit difficult to ride a horse in my nurse's uniform. Nevertheless, I grabbed his hand and helped swing me up into the saddle behind him. I heard some of the stitches rip in my skirt, but I managed to settle into the saddle, my hands awkwardly at his waist.

"So how far out of town do you live?"

"A few hours by horse. We like our privacy." He replied.

It grew darker, but at least it wasn't as cold in the night here in the south as it was in the north. We passed under tall willow trees as we took a winding road to the west. We passed no one, leaving us to ride in silence, at least until he broke it again.

"Those ladies shouldn't bother you anymore, Ms. Platt."

"I hope so."

"I took care of it for now. But there are others that roam that are just like them. It's those you have to watch out for."

"I'll be sure to keep my eye out for them, then." I replied quietly, staring at his back as I shifted in the saddle awkwardly.

Wrought iron gates caught my attention only an hour later. They were open, invitingly, and Jasper guided the horse onto the small path. It was straight and narrow, made of bricks, and large willow trees rising up on either side of it in perfect symmetry.

It was a moment before I finally caught site of the house. Even in the dark, I could see it by the pale light of the moon.

It was beautiful in every way. Three stories, it was a solid white in color with columns reaching toward the sky all the way across the front and wrapping around the sides. Balcony railings wrapped around most of the second floor outside. The windows were large with black shutters on either side of it. It was just like I had imagined some of the houses in the south to look like. Part of me wished I was a good ol' southern girl just so I could live in a place like this.

Jasper pulled the horse to a stop and slid off, reaching up a hand to pull me off as well. I touched down on the ground and straightened, looking up at the house.

"It's lovely."

"My father picked it out."

I hummed in response as he took my arm and escorted me up onto the porch. I wondered if his family was just as odd as him, and my heart rate increased. Another wave of calm washed over me and I frowned, wondering what kept causing that. Pushing that from my mind as he opened the front door, I held my breath for a moment.

Inside was just as beautiful as the outside. Hard wood floors and darkly colored furniture decorated the room, all the way to the staircase that wound up and around the room. Piano music played softly from somewhere - which stopped abruptly when I took a step forward next to Jasper.

Then sudden, we were no longer alone.

The first that appeared was a small young girl who flung herself into Jasper's arms. I stepped back as Jasper pulled her into a tight hug.

She wasn't the first to appear. She was followed by a bronze haired boy and a young brunette beside him, as well as a pretty blonde and a large muscular male who held her protectively. They were all looking at me now with the same amber eyes. Their looks were different than the ones the three girls had been given me - this look was one of curiosity.

"Ms. Platt, this is my family. My wife Alice, brothers Emmett and Edward, and their wives Rosalie and Bella." He introduced. "Everyone, this is Esme Platt. You already know why she's here, if I know Alice." He glanced down at his wife, who gave a sheepish smile, entwining her pale fingers with his. They all appeared to have the same marble colored skin as well.

Yes, something was definitely off about this family. I didn't want to be rude, though. Jasper was repaying my kindness to him - even if it was unneeded - and I wasn't going to insult him by refusing it. Besides, he had saved me from those ladies that had wanted to kill me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sorry if my presence disturbs you."

"Nonsense." The bronze haired one, Edward, said, giving me an almost forced smile. I frowned slightly, my gaze drifting to stare at a spot on the ground.

"You helped Jasper, therefore you are welcome here." Alice said with a smile, taking both my hands in hers - her skin was just as cold as Jasper's had been. "Carlisle should like to meet you."

"Who's Carlisle?"

"I am."

I looked up - on the stairs stood a fair haired man around my own age, amber eyes and pale skin reflecting that of his family. He held a faint smile on his sculpted face, coming down the rest of the way to stand in front of me. He extended a pale hand toward me and I wrapped my hand around his - he brought my hand to his lips and kissed my hand. It'd been a long while since a man had greeted me like that.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Platt. Welcome to our home."

As I gave a smile, I decided it might not be so bad to stay at least one night.

_**Hey there! I'm debating if I should continue this or not. If you like it, please review because I will decide if I continue or not based on your reviews!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Most of the others went back to what they had been doing after Carlisle had greeted me. Only he, Alice, and Jasper remained.

"Go ahead, Jasper. I'll keep Ms. Platt company." Carlisle said and Jasper nodded, giving a small smile in my direction before he disappeared with his wife. I glanced around the entryway until my gaze fell back onto the handsome man standing beside me.

"How exactly did you come across my son?" He inquired, offering me his arm. I hooked mine through his and he led me out onto the wrap around porch that we began to walk along. My gaze was one the grounds that sprawled out in every direction as I spoke.

"He was in an alleyway. I was on my way back to the hospital, saw him, and knew I couldn't leave him." I gave a light shrug. "So I stopped and helped him. Although, I'm probably fired from my job by now." I wrinkled my noise at the thought. I'd be bucked back down to a new nurse if I had to reapply. If they'd even let me back at that hospital for skipping out on work.

"Ironic you're a nurse, really, considering I'm a doctor."

"So I should be addressing you as Dr. Cullen, then?"

He chuckled.

"Carlisle is just fine." He replied.

It was still dark outside - only the moonlight was out, lighting our way around the porch. I sensed an awkward vibe coming from the others, but from Dr. Cullen I felt completely at ease. I continued to take in the moonlit grounds as we rounded a corner - gardens lay behind the house, I could see. I could pick out a few colors of the flowers closest toward the house, but as they grew farther away I couldn't pick them out. Apparently Dr. Cullen had a good taste in homes.

"I'm not exactly clear on the details as to why you're staying the night with us - would you mind elaborating for me?"

"I escorted your son to the train platform, and these three girls that appeared to know him came up to him. They threatened him, then threatened to hurt me, so he made me get on the train. I don't know what happened after that - you'd have to ask your son." I explained, frowning slightly as I looked up at him - he appeared to be deep in thought as he stared out in front of him, his face smooth and expressionless.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay." He said after a long moment as we stopped walked, him looking down at me now.

"Do you mind if I ask you something, Carlisle?" I inquired after an uneasy moment of silence.

"Go ahead."

"What are you?"

He chuckled. "What kind of question is that?"

"Your son - he had all of these bite marks across his arm and they healed, just like that. I've never seen anything like it. I assume you're all the same since you share the same pale skin and amber eyes." I said quietly. He didn't say anything for a long moment.

"Well, Ms. Platt, it's something you don't need to worry about. We're not like you, clearly. If I told you . . . Well, I'd be breaking a few rules that could get me into all sorts of trouble."

"I won't tell."

He gave a smile. "I know. It's not you I'm worried about." He reached for the back doors that led back into the house. "Come on. I'll show you to your room and give you something else to wear besides your uniform."

_. . ._

I was never going to forget the Cullens, especially his patriarch who had been kind enough to let me stay in his home, and had even paid for my train ticket back home.

"Esme, Dr. Hendricks needs you."

I looked up from where I was helping a young man sit up in bed to keep him from coughing the way he was. Upon my return, I had found I still had my job somehow and had launched myself back into my work. Now, even a few months later I was still working as a nurse - although, part of me was still waiting for young Mr. Jasper Cullen or one of the others to appear. But I never saw nor heard from any of them. I don't know why I was expecting to considering our brief encounter, but part of me still hoped.

"All right. Let me finish helping Jones here and I'll be right there." I replied to the young nurse who nodded and went back about her business. I grabbed the glass of water off the bedside table and helped Jones take a sip. He silently thanked me and settled back into his pillows.

I headed toward Dr. Hendricks' office, and was surprised to find a group of other head nurses standing outside his office in a semicircle as well. I frowned - what was going on? I usually didn't speak with the other heads of the wards until the beginning of the month when we went over what supplies each ward needed and such. It was the middle of October.

"Ah, there you are Esme, glad you could join us." Dr. Hendricks greeted warmly. He was the head doctor and in charge of the medical staff. I gave a forced smile before my lips slipped back into the grown as I tried to figure out what was going on.

"Now, as you know we're running short of medical services on the fields, and they've put out a call to hospitals to volunteer nurses. I've picked the group standing before me because you're good at what you do, and can help out there on the front. It's dangerous, I know, but if things go right this war won't last much longer . . . ."

He continued and I only half listened. I had been trying to avoid being picked to go to the field - I didn't like the sound of being a field nurse. A lot of them got hurt during their lines of work. I only nodded when all the other nurses did - we were being sent home for the day in order to pack, say goodbyes, and all that nonsense before we were shipped out tomorrow morning by train to the front lines.

I had no one to say goodbye to, so I sat home alone. I wondered if I would come back. I hoped so - I didn't want to be killed. It wasn't that I fear death - I feared dying. The thought of dying made me sick to my stomach.

My things were already packed, but even so I didn't get any sleep that night, my mind too busy thinking. I was being forced to do something I didn't want to do. But maybe I would get used to it, and the war would end soon without a hitch. I could only pray.

I wondered if I'd see Mr. Jasper as a soldier in my care again, until I remembered he was a confederate soldier. I worked for the north, and I'd only be taking care of northern soldiers, naturally.

Other nurses had been exchanging addresses and such so they could write home - I had no one to write home to except my parents, who probably wouldn't care enough. Perhaps I'd write them a letter in my spare time while I was out there, and maybe they'd find enough time in their socialite lives to actually respond. I didn't care either way, considering I hadn't heard from them since Charles' funeral. I'd given up really, on ever forming a decent relationship with anyone. It seemed any relationship I had formed with anyone was ruined, dysfunctional, or broken, except for the few nurses that I spent some of my free time with outside of the hospital.

Maybe being out on the field would be just what I needed.

The train the next morning was filled with other nurses and doctors that had been picked or had volunteered to go out an help. We weren't all going to the same place - they had split us up, mixing us so that we were with no one we knew. Naturally, the group I was in was going to be the closest to the battlefront - it was the largest group of nurses and doctors, as we'd be the ones who'd be receiving most of the patients.

I watched the landscape roll by, and the train slowly empty as we stopped at small towns and camps where wounded soldiers would be coming in. The stops continued until it was only my group left in the one train car. None of us talked, but we all knew what the other was thinking. We didn't want to be there. We didn't want to die. We wanted to help, but we didn't want to die.

The train rolled to a stop and I grabbed my things, quietly stepping off the train with the others. It was an encampment - there were soldiers going back and forth between large groups of tents, some of them heading toward the same large tent that the doctors, nurses, and I were heading toward - it was clearly the medical tent.

The more I looked around at the men in the navy colored uniforms and the white tents that had been erected, the more I thought this wasn't going to be good. Sure, it might do me a bit of good, but it wasn't what I had been expecting. Then again, I wasn't really sure what I _had_ been expecting in the first place.

I stepped forward with the other nurses and silently prepared myself for my new duties.

. . .

"Platt! Get over here! Hold him down!"

My hands wrapped around the soldier's shoulders and arms from above, helping the other nurse pin him down as the doctor proceeded to continue to saw his leg off.

At least his screams blocked out the gunfire.

Things at the hospital had never been this intense, and never had I been covered in so much blood. Instead of calmly taking care of patients, I had been assisting with surgeries and amputations, and blood covered my uniform. It was disgusting and made me violently ill to my stomach. I tried hard not to think about it, looking away instead - I heard the saw hit something, and realized with a jolt by the sound that he was now sawing through the bone. The man's screams got louder, and I knew then he probably wouldn't live.

I would be right in my assumption, as before the doctor had even finished sawing through his leg, the soldier had passed out.

He didn't wake back up.

I wiped my hands of blood, thankful it was time for my break and I could try and get some sleep. Getting sleep around here wasn't easy - between the moans and groans and screams of patients to the sounds of distant gun and cannon fire, I never got more than a few minutes. But it was better than nothing, at least.

How I hated it here.

I left the hospital tent, feeling the blood soaking through my uniform already. I made a face as I trudged back to the tent I shared with several other nurses - some of them were sleeping as it was their break, and some were getting ready to go to the hospital tent for their upcoming shift. I gave half smiles to them as I passed, heading for my bunk.

I stripped off the uniform and sat it aside - I would have to wash it later. I flopped down on the hard cot and rubbed my temples. Being a field nurse was harder and more intense than being a hospital nurse by far. I hadn't been trained for this sort of thing, but in the two weeks I had already spent in this place, I had learned quickly how things were done.

As I shifted my blankets around, kicking off my shoes, I heard the crinkle of paper and frowned. Moving the scratchy fabric of the blanket, I saw an envelope with my name on it in calligraphic-like writing. Grabbing it, I ripped it open. It was a hand written letter, I realized as I opened it and began to read.

_Ms. Platt, _

_I know how lonely it can get in this world, especially when out on a place like a battlefield. It's a difficult situation and hard to adjust to, but I know you'll pull through because you're such a strong young woman. Even if we only met for one day, I'd trust you to work along side me as a nurse anytime. _

_I hope life is treating you well, and you haven't been injured yet. I imagine you're somewhere in the south by now, as it's where most of the battles are taking place anymore. You shall have to keep me updated on how they turn out. _

_I myself have been drafted to be a doctor in the field as well - perhaps we will run into each other sometime? - and find it very trying. There are too many patients and not enough doctors here, so I find I have to care for much more than I'm capable. I've managed though, even if I do have a small staff. They're good at what they do. _

_I don't know what made me to decide to write this letter to you. I heard you had been transferred to the field, and since you seem to be in the same situation as me, I figured it would be nice if you had at least one person to write to. _

_I await your response._

_Yours, _

_Dr. Carlisle Cullen_

My heart fluttered slightly at his name, and I found my fingers tracing his signature over and over again. Somehow, knowing he was in the same situation he was made me feel a bit better, to know I wasn't alone. I now had sometime to write to - I was still slightly surprised he was writing to me though, when he had his entire family to write to. If he had so many patients, he wouldn't have the time to write to all of us.

But he had, and I was going to reply.

Suddenly energized, I put off my sleep as I began to compose another letter in response.

_Dr. Carlisle Cullen, _

_I was surprised to see your letter, but glad. As sad as it seems, I have no one to write to in my spare time - now I do, and it pleases me more than you could know._

_Life is treating me okay. Life out here is not what I expected - it seems I'm scrubbing bloodstains out of my uniform every day. I've never seen such chaos. We have plenty of nurses and doctors, but their surgeries and operations are a mess - then again, the men that come in are such a mess it's hard to save what's already lost. _

_We try, though, and I suppose that's all that matters. _

_I am in the south, but I honestly couldn't tell you how the battles turn out. My work has absorbed me so much and the soldiers that come back from the field never want to talk about what happened out there. I suppose if I see confederate soldiers marching across the field toward us, then I supposed I'll know then how the battle turned out. _

_I do fear one day that it will happen - I'm quite afraid, being this close to the battlefield, that one day they're going to get a little too close and a stray bullet will hit me. Silly it seems, as they would probably move us before they got that close, but I still can't help but worry. I hope you aren't as close to the battlefield I am, although if you're getting that many patients I can't help but assume you're just as close as I am. _

_Then again, you're on a different battlefield than I am, so perhaps it's just more soldiers being injured and killed where you are in comparison to my battlefield._

_I'm just glad they don't send us directly out onto the field._

_Stay safe._

_Sincerely, _

_Miss. Esme Platt_

I sent my letter the next morning with the messenger who carried the news and other letters to and from the battlefields. That evening, I prayed Dr. Cullen would not be harmed like the soldiers he was trying to save.

When I returned to the hospital tent on my next shift, I found myself carrying out bodies. There were others digging graves and a few other nurses who weren't doing anything that immediate moment helped me carry bodies out to them. I said a quiet prayer to myself over each soldier we put into the ground. There wasn't time to cry or mourn.

I had never seen so much death in one place

After the bodies were taken care of, I resumed taking care of my other patients. I wasn't as close with these men as I had been before, but I was still kind and treated them as best as I could. I made sure the one's we couldn't save were made comfortable as possible before they died, and the ones who would remain among the living, I made sure they were taken care of.

Another day of war.

How much longer could they possibly fight?

Pulling a few loose strands of hair out of my face, I glanced up as they brought a few more soldiers in.

When I realized I recognized one of them, I stopped.

Blood and dirt seemed to cover him like a second layer of skin and he looked worse for wear, but I still recognized him and the name on the badge on his uniform.

Charles Evenson was placed onto a free bed in the corner and doctors and nurses began to swarm him.

He was supposed to be dead. He wasn't supposed to be alive. I had gotten the letter saying he had died in battle. So who had lied? It didn't matter - we were technically divorced anyway. I had finalized it when he had gone off to battle and sent him a letter about it - I never got one in return until the telegram about his death.

"Platt! Don't just stand there!" One of the doctors snapped at me and I jumped, before launching myself back into my work.

The rest of my shift I kept one eye on him. He didn't wake up. I caught some of what was wrong from one of the others nurses that worked on him - he had been shot in the shoulder and arm, and had been caught in a canon blast that had badly burned part of his face and hands.

Once my shift was over and as I was getting ready to leave, I decided to step toward the man who I had thought was dead. Pulling my hair down as I went, I stopped at the edge of his bed, merely watching him sleep for a long moment - as weird as it sounded.

I didn't love him, that was clear, but I wanted him to stay alive long enough to the point I could ask him why I had been sent a letter about his death. Had it been done on purpose or an accident? Why? So many questions; it was a shame he wasn't awake then for me to answer them.

"Do you know him?"

I looked up as one of the other nurses came by with bandages in her hands.

"No." I lied to the girl - Elizabeth, I was pretty sure her name was. "Just checking on him before I left."

"He'll live." She said, shrugging. I took one roll of the bandages and helped her re-wrap his hands. "At least according to the doctor. I'd hate to see another young one die."

"Yes. Me too." I replied quietly before we lapsed into silence. It was quiet in the hospital tent at this time of night except for the quiet murmur of the patients that were awake and the on duty nurses murmuring back and forth to each other and the doctors. I welcomed it. Even in the distance I could no longer hear the gunfire.

I began to work my way through the camp, back toward the nurses' tent, knowing I had another letter from Carlisle waiting for me.

I hope this time, however, that when I went to sleep, I would wake up and all of this would be some terrible nightmare.

**Yes, I did decide to continue. This chapter isn't as long, and I'm not as happy with it, but I hope it suffices. Next update might take a bit longer, but thank all of you for your reviews! They mean more than you think to me, and I'm glad you took the time out to send them in! Feel free to do so again!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm not happy with the way this one came out - it feels as if it moved too quickly. I apologize ahead of time if you find it as a terrible chapter.**

_Ms. Esme, _

_Glad to hear you're doing all right and the battle hasn't gotten to you yet. I'm very glad you now have someone to write too as well - as I said in my last letter, it can get very lonely. Besides, you can probably tell me things you can't tell the random strangers you're working with. I find it comforting when you have a confidant like that - and believe me, you can tell me anything you wish. I won't think anything differently of you. _

_I understand what you mean about the mess of men coming in. I try my hardest to save most of them, but when they've already bled out so much or their limbs are halfway blown off, it's hard. I imagine you're facing the same things where you are._

_Don't be afraid of dying, Esme. It's not that bad. I've been close - it's not bad. I promise. And I wouldn't lie to you._

_As for being close to the battlefield, well, I'm as close as they come. I can hear the gunfire in the distance as I write this. It's a scary thought to know how close they are. And I doubt they would send us directly out onto the battlefield unless it's an emergency - the other day one of the other doctors had to go out and help carry patients back. He came back and I had to amputate his leg because of the shrapnel damage to it._

_It's a sad sight to see, that's for sure._

_I'd like to get to know you better through our letters - after all, we only met for a single day. We can make a game of it if you'd like. In turn, you're allowed to ask me any question you'd like - except the one about what I am. That is one question I cannot answer right now._

_Yours, _

_Carlisle Cullen_

. . .

_Dr. Cullen,_

_If I come across anything to tell you, I most certainly will. I'd trust you more than any of the doctors or nurses around here. They have a tendency to gossip because they don't have anything else better to do. _

_And all right, I'll play your game. We'll start simple. What's your favorite color? Mine's blue._

_Forgive me that this letter is so short. We're swamped with patients and I haven't gotten a break for more than ten minutes at a time. The next shall be longer._

_Sincerely, _

_Esme Platt_

. . .

I stumbled away from the hospital tent, exhausted, ready to collapse into the nearest cot - or the ground. I really wasn't particular in that moment. I had finally gotten away for the time being, but I knew it wouldn't be long before I would have to return.

We had lost several men that day. But it wasn't that I was worried about.

Charles was awake, and now roaming around camp on a pair of old, handmade crutches because of how badly his leg had been damaged with the bullet. I had successfully avoided him, knowing I wouldn't have time to ask him anything about what had happened and why he was alive when he was supposed to be dead.

Up until that moment.

With my latest break, I was determined to find him, and ask him what had gone on.

I tried one of the soldiers' tents first, and after a few moment of playful banter I found Charles was lurking in the tent next to that one with some of the other younger men. I thanked them and continued on my quest to find him. Before I entered the tent, however, I hesitated outside the flap.

I could do this. He wouldn't dare harm me in front of the other soldiers, because I knew several that would beat him in return for daring to touch a woman. Still, the bruises and pain he had inflicted on me before - well, they still ran very deep emotionally. I thought that since he was dead, I'd be safe.

Apparently not.

Before I could discourage myself from actually confronting him, I pushed open the tent flap and stepped inside.

"Why, hello there Ms. Platt."

"Esme!"

"Hey!"

I had long since given up on soldiers being gentlemen, so I merely gave them an easy smile as I searched for Charles - I was in luck, because he had noticed me first and was sitting up on the edge of his bed.

"Hello Charles." I rested my hands on my hips as I approached him, and there were several noises - the others knew he was in trouble. "You and I need to talk."

"Esme, I -!"

I merely grabbed him and tugged him to his feet, thrusting his crutch at him.

"We need to talk. Now."

I headed toward the entrance, and when I turned, he was hobbling along behind me.

I pulled him away from the tent so we could talk alone. He huffed, irritated.

"What are you trying to pull?" I demanded. "I get a telegram telling me you're dead, and now here you are?"

"You and I both know neither of us wanted this marriage, Esme." Charles snapped. "It seemed the most plausible way to do it."

"You could have told me."

"You would have told me not to."

"No, actually, I would have encouraged it!" My voice rose an octave like it always did when I got ticked. Charles made a disgusted face - he probably would have hit me if he hadn't needed his hands to help support himself on the crutches.

"We're divorced, anyway. I filed the last of the papers before you faked your death." I added.

"Good."

"Good!"

"Are you done with me? We can pretend this whole marriage never happened, and you can go on pretending I'm dead." He muttered.

"No, I'm not done with you." I said. All those years of rage and emotion began to come undone, and before I could stop myself, I had smacked him so hard across the face that my hand stung and his head snapped to the left. "What you've done to me Charles . . . I'll never get over it. I hope you happy with yourself." My voice was oddly calm. "I hope you find a girl one day who beats you as much as you beat me."

"You'll pay for that one, my dear Esme." He said, eyes dark as he looked back at me.

"I'm not yours. I never was yours. And I'd like to even see you try to touch me." I snarled. I have never been on to raise my voice or yell, but this man begged for it. I couldn't control it.

"Get away from me."

"I'd be happy to."

I turned away from him, listening to him hobble away. I shook my head, grabbing my temple. So he had wanted out of the marriage as well. At least that was one problem I no longer had to worry about. Still, to know that Charles had lied to me - well, I wasn't married to him anymore. I had to forget about it. I had never loved him. In fact, I'd hated him for the bruises and pain he had inflicted those years we had been together. I was pleased I'd never have to worry about that sort of pain again. I was content on remaining a nurse the rest of my life (as long as it wasn't on a battlefield), really, and living alone.

I began to make my way across the camp, until one of the other nurses coming my way caught my arm. I internally groaned - what the heck did they want now?

"Esme, they're sending us out to the field to do some emergency work. Can you cover my shift?"

"Yeah, sure." I nodded without really thinking about what she had said. I was too tired. She gave a smile though.

"Thank you."

"Not a problem."

So much for sleep.

But her shift wasn't until later, so thankfully I had a bit of time to myself before I would have to report back in. Stretching slight and rolling my neck along my shoulders, I tried to calm myself down as I walked back toward my tent. Being stressed and over-worked would not help me when I went back into work.

My thoughts suddenly filled with Dr. Cullen.

I wondered what he was doing right then. Knowing him, performing some life-saving surgery. Over the past few days, I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. The more I tried, the more I failed and the more distracted I had become. It hadn't interfered directly with my work, yet, but whenever I slept between my shifts I dreamt of him. The dreams were fuzzy, and I couldn't make them out a lot of the time, but I knew they were about him.

Slowly, my body began to unwind and relax.

He hadn't told me much about himself, but I knew he was a good man. He was a doctor, after all. I knew he was handsome, and obviously very intelligent and kind, and he had a nice home. He wasn't southern - he didn't have the accent like his son Jasper did. I figured he'd recently moved there before the war, and had just gotten pulled in.

I also knew that I liked him. A lot.

I collapsed face down into my pillow, not bothering to kick off my shoes or anything. I sighed in irritation. Dr. Cullen really needed to get out of my head.

The vision of him in my head only smirked, his presence continuing to remain the same.

I rolled over on my back as I began to drift off again, eyelids fluttering closed as I attempted to get some form of sleep before they put me back work.

Once I had gone on shift again, I noticed several other nurses and two doctors were missing – they had been sent out into the field. I only hoped they came back alive.

I hummed as I worked, knowing my letter from Carlisle would be in later that day, if the messenger kept up his schedule. I always counted down the days, because his letters were a source of light during these dark days. It was like a lifeline for me in this depressing and grueling place. I only hoped it would forgive me for the shortness of my last letter.

. . .

_Esme,_

_I understand what you mean about being swamped. Appears our letters will have to remain somewhat short, which doesn't bother me in the slightest. _

_The battle is taking its toll. I think my side is losing, with as many patients as I get in every day. I'm losing more and more of them. They're supposed to send us more doctors to help, but they haven't arrived yet. I'm hoping it will be tomorrow or the day after they show up and I can finally get a break away. _

_My favorite color is gold. What's your hobby? I don't really have one, unless you count reading any medical texts I can get my hands on._

_Stay safe out there._

_Yours,_

_Dr. Carlisle_

_. . ._

_Carlisle, _

_We have plenty of nurses here. Well, we did, until they sent several out to the field yesterday. I hope they don't volunteer me to go next. I'm terrible at dodging things, including bullets. I'd send nurses if I could – I would probably join your side if I could get by with it. I hate it here, for more reasons than you could ever know. I have a feeling it's going to get worse. _

_I enjoy drawing, and painting. I haven't done it in years, but I'm starting to get back into it. If you look on the back of this folded paper, you'll see I've sketched you. At least, how I remember seeing you. _

_Be careful._

_Sincerely, _

_Esme_

. . .

Several nights later, my dreams of Carlisle this time were invaded - although I wouldn't understand why until I woke up. Again, they were fuzzy, but at one point I could feel sensations of being carried.

When I woke up, I instantly knew something was wrong.

I blinked - I was still tired no matter how I tried to force off the sleep. I felt sick, and only halfway lucid. It felt as if I had been drugged or something. My mind was still in a fog, and for once my mind wasn't filled with the thoughts of the handsome blonde doctor.

I blinked again.

"Looks like they're taking effect." A low voice mused and my eyes dragged to the left – Charles stood there with an amused expression. Charles was no longer using his crutches, but walked with a slight limp as he nearedleaning over me.

"Told you that you'd pay, Esme." He hissed furiously before striking me hard across the face.

It was then I realized I was outside, and not in the tent. I blinked, shaking my head, trying to clear it as I recovered from the sting of the smack. I could hear the gunfire in the distance still, and farther away I could see the little points of light that made up the camp. I was at the bottom of the hill that the camp sat on.

"Get away from me." I repeated Charles' earlier words as I forced myself to stand, ignoring the dizzy feeling. My legs felt weak and nearly buckled from underneath me. What had they done to me?

"I don't think anyone will miss a nurse too terribly." He sneered and smacked me hard again. I went reeling, back against a nearby tree. My nails dug into the bark as dots popped out before my eyes. Come on Esme. Get it together.

He advanced toward me, pinning me against the tree. My arms were crushed behind me, pinning place as he grabbed me by the shoulders. I knew exactly what he was going to do – I had seen that look in his eyes once before.

"Let go of me!" I screamed and he threw a hand over my mouth, silencing me instantly. He was in my face now, eyes blazing.

"Scream or say a word to anyone, and I'll have my friends on the confederate side kill that precious Dr. Carlisle Cullen of yours. I found your letters, and I know he's only just across the battlefield. It would only be the matter of calling in a favor to some of the southern boys who would happily take your doctor out and shoot him." He hissed furiously.

_No. Not Carlisle. _

He had his family. And I knew Charles probably did have people on the other side willing to kill him if I screamed.

I said nothing, and could only imagine it was Carlisle crushing my lips in an angry kiss.

"You'll pay for all your sins, Charles. You'll die alone and unwanted, and when you do, I hope you go to the lowest pits of Hell." I spat, wincing as my back dug into the bark of the tree. He only chuckled.

"At least I'll die knowing I've broken you."

My breath hitched in my throat.

No matter what Charles Evenson did to me, he would never break me. I had suffered in our marriage, and he hadn't broken me. It would take a lot more emotional damage to break me than what he could give me.

"Good luck with that." I hissed, glaring at him. "You can't do anything to hurt me more than you already have."

"We'll see about that."

. . .

Fighting on the battlefield had ceased.

Both sides had run out of firepower, and were waiting on re-enforcements with more weapons, leaving some of us with a free day. Some of the soldiers and other workers in camp began to spread out to the fields that surrounded the camp. It had snowed the night before, the first snow of the season. Hopefully the re-enforcements would bring warm blankets and everything for winter that we would need as well.

Hopefully.

I had ventured into one of the empty fields, bundled in a borrowed coat and pants – most of the nurses were dressed like that, as they only had their uniforms and a few other changes of clothes that weren't as warm. I had borrowed mine from one of the soldiers I had made friends with in the hospital. He was there for a gunshot wound and had actually survived his arm being amputated, and was doing well.

I had recovered slightly from Charles' attack. I had let it happen for the sake of Carlisle – I didn't want anything to happen to him. Perhaps when he wrote back I would tell him what had happened. He had said I could tell him anything. Perhaps he'd understand better than some of the other nurses would.

I heard laughter and other noises coming from the edge of the field – some of the others had commenced playing in the snow. I gave a half smile. I wished I could be as carefree and as happy as them. I had bottled up my emotions again, and I felt like exploding. Anger, fury, rage, sadness – all of it kept safely locked inside. When I was forced to look at the bruises along my back and legs I found more rage building inside.

But I was strong. I could take it. I was determined Charles was never going to touch me again – I wasn't giving him the chance. I had volunteered for extra shifts in the hospital so that I was sleeping while others were in the tent with me, and I wouldn't be alone. I took extra care avoiding him as well. Once I was sure Carlisle would safe, I was determined to make sure he paid.

Even if I had to take his own gun and shoot him in the forehead.

Well, I wouldn't go that far. But sometimes I wished I had the guts to do it. Maybe I could 'accidentally' make it go off and shoot him. Or maybe I could just aim for something that wouldn't hurt him, just put him down and out for a while.

A twisted, almost sick smile came to my face the more I thought about the ways I could pay him back for what he had done.

_Phish!_

A handful of snow hit me and my back arched, trying not to let the cold seep in. I had let out a shriek, and now looked around to see if anyone had heard me, and for the culprit who had thrown it.

Oddly, I saw no one.

When I turned back around, another snowball hit me, this time in the back of my leg. I whirled again, and again, there was no one.

What on Earth?

I stared into the surrounding trees, but saw nothing. After a long moment, I turned back around -

- and ran headlong into a tall, muscular figure. I looked up, face tinting red.

I couldn't help the brilliant smile that lit up my face.

"Carlisle!"

He gave a crooked smile, taking my hand in his and pressing it to his lips – but he stopped, noticing the bruise on the back of my hand that had peeked out from under my jacket. I stiffed slightly, but he said nothing, merely pressed his kiss gently there instead of my knuckles like he had done before.

"Hello, Esme."


	4. Chapter 4

We stood in the longest silence for a moment, until Carlisle removed his jacket and wrapped it tightly around my shoulders like the gentlemen he was.

"Then you're going to get cold."

"I'm used to the cold." He replied, giving a shrug and offering me his arm. I looped mine through his, and we walked toward the trees.

"What are you doing out here?" I inquired curiously. He gave another shrug.

"I wanted to come see you." He said honestly. "I wanted to check on my only favorite northern." He continued and I laughed. Then I remembered Charles' words - Carlisle was on the other side of the battlefield. Him being there established that, as any other battlefield was too far away. Ironic, we were working on opposite sides of the war, yet here we were.

If only the others could be as forgiving and willing as we were.

"I must say, I was surprised when I got your letter. Even more surprised when I found out the other day that you were just across the field."

"How did you find out I was across the field?"

I hesitated a fleeting moment. I didn't want to tell him about Charles. It would make me feel weak - I could handle it myself. Maybe once I got over my pride, I'd tell him. But until then, he didn't need to know. Besides, I was sure he wouldn't want to hang around some woman who complained all the time about her abusive problems. That, and he'd assume I was emotionally unstable, most likely.

"I heard one of my soldiers talking about some blonde haired doctor who insisted on saving everyone, so he had dashed out onto the battlefield to get a head start on saving people's lives." I told him, teasing. He chuckled.

"Caught me."

We walked between the trees, ducking under low branches that he pushed out of the way. We were walking along the top of a hill now – the forest ended at the top of the hill where we were, and at the bottom lay a frozen pond.

I was vaguely aware of the fact that this was probably considered improper to most. Number one, Carlisle was a southern man and I was a northern lady and since there was war, we were supposed to hate each other - at least, that was what I had come to understand. Number two, we were walking together. Alone. In the forest. My father would go ballistic if he knew I was spending time with a man I had technically just met (we were on a first name basis now, at least). But Carlisle was a complete gentlemen and I trusted him wholly.

"Is something bothering you, Esme?"

I looked up as he asked, hesitating again.

"No, nothing. Why do you ask?"

"You're a terrible liar, you know."

I rolled my eyes. Naturally. He appeared perfect in every other way, and I guessed he could pick out liars too. Great.

"I just had an accident is all." I shrugged. He stopped walking and took my hand, silently asking permission. I nodded and he gently shoved the edge of my sleeve up, revealing the bruising around my wrist that matched the ones on my forearm and upper arm. Thankfully I would be wearing long sleeves for a while, so they would be easy enough to cover up.

As he examined the bruises along my arm, I realized the bruises resembled a hand print and finger prints. He seemed to realize it just as I did, and his gaze silently met mine.

"Esme," When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "What sort of accident?"

"I fell."

Of course he knew I was lying. He seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk about it, though, and gently pulled my sleeve back down, taking my arm again, careful to avoid the bruises. In time, when I go over it myself, I would tell him. Perhaps tell him about my entire marriage to Charles Evenson.

"You never asked a question." He said moment later, breaking the silence that had fallen between us.

"What?"

"In your last letter. You never asked a question. Although, I must say I did love your drawing. I have it tucked within the pages of one of my books so I can keep it, forever." He said and I felt the blood rise to my cheeks, tinting them pink. I used my hair to hide them as I looked down at our feet, the snow crunching beneath them.

"Thank you." I paused, thinking of a question. "How long have you lived in the south?"

"Around five years now. How long have you been in the north?"

"Since I was born. I live in the same town I was born in." I admitted. He smiled.

"Must be a nice town. Tell me about it."

"It is nice. It was smaller when I was growing up, but it's getting larger everyday. It's the sort of town where you know everybody in it and everybody knows you whether you like it or not. We do have a nice hospital though, if you ever feel like living in the north for a while." I added.

"I will definitely keep that in mind." He nodded once. "What's your favorite season?"

"I don't have one." I shrugged simply. "I like spring because of the rain and everything is just waking up. I like summer because it's warm - I love the feeling of the sun on my skin. Fall is lovely because of the different colors the trees turn. Winter has my favorite thing though - snow. I used to play in it al the time as a child. Still would if I knew I could get by with it." I elaborated. "You?"

"Winter. Definitely. I like the cold and snow."

"You must be used to it. You feel like you're freezing." I murmured – I could feel the cold of his skin through his shirt. "Are you sure you don't want your jacket back?"

"I'm fine, honestly." He assured. "Your turn for a question."

"What are -." I began, but the last of my words turned into a scream as I suddenly stepped on a slick patch of snow and ice. I went skidding down the hill toward the pond, dragging poor Carlisle with me.

Snow flew up around us as we sailed into a snow bank – but it gave away and we slipped out onto the ice, finally coming to a halt in the middle of the pond. Somehow I had ended up under Carlisle, my hands curled fearfully in his shirt. Our gazes met.

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Hard.

Carlisle's laughter joined mine, and I didn't even think to move from where I was resting under of him. I laughed until my sides hurt, eventually my laughter fading into giggles as our gazes met again and I realized just how close we were. I studied his face – the smooth, perfect features were even more beautiful up close. It was overcast and cloudy, but a few rays of sunlight hit his skin – and where it did, I could have swore that it sparkled faintly, like little diamonds. But then the sunlight was gone and I figured I was seeing things.

On sudden impulse I reached up and ran my hand along his cheek. He gave a half smile as he hovered above me on the ice, his hand coming up to curl around my fingers. Through his gloves I could still feel his icy skin. He was probably freezing.

My fingers brushed over his lips, and I realized how much I really wanted to kiss them. I wondered if they were just as cold as the rest of his body.

I was about to find out as his lips neared mine when the ice suddenly made a crackling noise under us. He stiffened, but didn't move.

"Close your eyes." He ordered quietly, and I obeyed. I felt arms hooking under my back and legs, followed by the sensation of flying.

"Open."

When I did, I found we were on the shore. I hadn't even felt him move. The ice was cracking away in large chunks, centering around the place we had just been on the ice. He set me down on my own two feet and I wavered slightly, grabbing my head. Between the intoxicating feeling Carlisle gave me and the dizzying feeling of flying, my head was whirling.

"It's getting late. We should probably get back." He said as I dusted snow off the borrowed clothes I wore. I nodded in agreement.

We walked in silence back toward the field where we had run into each other, intending on splitting ways there. We stood at the edge of the forest – I could see the lights coming on in the camp as it grew darker. The last of the soldiers and others that had been enjoying the day were climbing back up the hill.

"I'll respond to your letter soon, and I hope we see each other again like this. Minus falling over a hill." Carlisle said and I laughed, nodding.

"Definitely."

I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. He gave a smile.

"Goodnight, Esme. Stay safe."

"I will. You too, Carlisle."

I turned to head back up the hill, my hands digging into the fabric of the coat around me. Then I remembered it was Carlisle's. I turned to give it back to him, but he was already gone.

I frowned.

Well, at least it gave me an excuse to see him again.

Smiling to myself, I headed back up the hill.

. . .

It seemed luck was on my side, as a few days later they moved some of the nurses to a small town not far from the battlefield, with a hospital, where we would be employed and take care of the soldiers being sent there. They were sending most of the critical patients with us on the train, and they were our first priority so they could get better and get back into the fight.

I really didn't mind, because I would be away from immediate danger, including Charles Evenson, who had been sent back out into the field. I hope was wounded so severely this time they wouldn't be able to save him.

I could still continue my letters to Carlisle – I just hoped he remained safe as well.

One of the boarding houses in town gave some of the nurses rooms, while others stayed with willing families. I was a lucky one – I had a room to myself in the boarding house. It was small, with two windows that faced the alleyway, one window that held a window seat. Still, it was better than a battlefield and a small canvas tent. And it was warm.

"Hold him down." I ordered the two pretty blonde nurses who had been put under my charge. I was a temporary head nurse again at this new hospital – who had graciously given me a new uniform that didn't have blood stains splattered across it. I would save my other one for if and when they sent us back to the battlefield in the spring.

The two nurses grabbed the man's shoulders, pinning him down. Another pressed down on his abdomen, holding him in place as well, while a fourth grabbed the leg I didn't have a hold of.

"On the count of three." I murmured and they nodded. "One . . .two . . .three!" On three, I pushed up and twisted his leg, popping his hip and knee back into place from where they had been dislocated. I winced as he gave a terrible scream of pain. At least he'd live.

"Take care of him. I've got to check on some others." I told one of the nurses, who nodded again and began to care for him. He hadn't been one of the charges on my ward, but the nurses knew I was one of the few who would actually be willing to pop a bone back into place. The nurses here were weak, really.

I returned through the double doors and back to my ward, going down the row patient by patient in the curtained off areas, flipping through their charts. I wasn't a doctor, but I needed to know what I could do to help them.

Humming to myself now, I took my usual rounds, taking care of my patient's needs. It was more quiet here than it had been at the battlefield, leaving me have more time to spend on my thoughts. I'd never been able to concentrate well with the gunfire going on in the background.

I returned home to the boarding house, fully expecting my letter from Carlisle that day. I was mildly surprised, and slightly put-out that I hadn't received it. Perhaps the post was running late. I hoped it was only that, and nothing had happened to the handsome doctor I had developed a lust for.

I did, however, have a folded piece of paper on my perfectly made bed. Frowning, I grabbed it and unfolded it.

_Be ready by midnight. Wear something warm._

It wasn't signed, but it was the familiar writing I had come to love. I smiled to myself.

I changed into one of the warmer dresses I had been so kindly given, pulling on a pair of gloves as well. I feel asleep, curled in my bed for the better part of three hours or so, catching up on a bit of sleep before I woke at ten 'til midnight to a noise at my window.

Blinking sleep out of my eyes, I realized why I had been so excited earlier. I went toward my window just as something nailed it. I threw open the window, cold air swirling into my room.

Down below, in the alley, Carlisle stood with a grin across his pale face.

"My lady, with hair so fine, let down your hair so I may climb up the vine."

I had to stifle a giggle.

"My good knight, standing below I'm afraid my hair is growing a bit too slow. It isn't long enough for you to use, otherwise I wouldn't refuse."

"Well, that is a problem, you see, for now you cannot come down to be with me."

"Never fear, although I am glad of your cares - you know they have now invented the stairs. I will be down to join my favorite male, but first I must ask, why quote a fairy tale?"

"It seems fitting to me, but you are more beautiful than any princess, you see. Your hair is most fine, the color of gold and yellow twine. Your eyes, being the pale green they are, are brighter than any one single star. With skin the color of cream, you look as if you've just walked from a dream. Now, my princess, we must leave, or risk the chance of being seen."

I couldn't help it - I broke into laughter then. He was being ridiculously adorable about the entire thing - I hadn't known he was a poet.

"Hang on, I'll be right down."

"Just jump."

I looked down at him like he had lost his mind.

"What?"

"Just jump." He repeated, holding out his arms. "I'll catch you."

I shook my head, hair falling down into my face. He chuckled.

"Don't you trust me? If you go down the stairs, you could wake someone up." He pointed out. I sighed heavily. Reaching over, I grabbed his jacket that I had brought with me and pulled it on, peering over the window again. I couldn't believe I was actually about to jump.

"I'll catch you. Trust me."

Taking a deep breath, I climbed up into the window seat and moved to stand on the ledge outside of my window. I shut my eyes tightly and stepped off the side.

He caught me easily, setting me down on my own two feet. I looked up at the window I had just jumped from, then back at him.

"You're crazy."

"All the best people are."

I hooked my arm through his and we walked toward the mouth of the alleyway together. It had started to softly snow, adding to the powder that already covered the ground.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going now?" I inquired as we stopped.

"As for right now, on here."

He nodded toward the carriage - well, it was more sort of a sleigh - in front of me, which was being pulled by a horse the color of the snow itself. He took my hand and helped me up into the small carriage/sleigh, before climbing up to sit next to me. He grabbed the reigns and snapped them once and the horse took off down the mostly deserted street.

"Did I do okay?" He inquired and I laughed, nodding.

"This is beautiful, Carlisle. Really."

"Glad you like it." He seemed genuinely pleased.

The streets were most deserted, but soon we were out of town anyway, gliding across the snowy landscape. I rested my head against Carlisle's shoulder with a soft sigh. This was nice, and rather romantic the more I thought about it. I had never been treated like this before, and I liked it. The way Carlisle always treated me always made me feel special, like a lady. I loved everything about him really.

_I loved him_.

That was what love was, right? That one person who could give you butterflies just by thinking about them, and that person that treated you special, like the light of their life. I knew there was more, so much more to it than that - I wanted to experience all of it. I had never been in any sort of love before. Charles had just been a fleeting thing. I'd never loved him. But I had barely spent any time with Carlisle and he was already making me get those butterflies in my stomach whenever I thought of him.

If all the things they said about love was true, well, then I was falling in love with Carlisle Cullen, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

In fact, I didn't want to stop it.

"Can you believe we'll be stuck in this mess of a war over Christmas? Again?" I began.

"One of the repercussions of war. We can't stop it." He murmured, shifting in the seat beside me to wrap an arm and pull me closer as I shivered. I pressed against him in order to get warm, even if his skin was again freezing cold.

There was only silence between us, the only sound breaking it being the sound of the horse's hooves hitting the snow, packing it down.

He tugged on the reigns to slow them down, and I peered over the top of the horse's head to see where we were. At the edge of some lake, it appeared, the snow undisturbed and packed tightly to the ground around it. I could tell the layer of ice on the lake was rather thick, so if we somehow ended up on it, it wouldn't shatter beneath us.

He jumped down and extended a hand toward me, helping me down. I sank several inches in the snow beside him, but the cold didn't have time to soak through my shoes as we headed toward the lake.

He stepped out onto the ice and I hesitated.

"What are you doing?"

"Trust me." He said with a half smile, extending his hand toward me. I reached forward and he wrapped his fingers around mine, pulling me out onto the ice with him. I slipped instantly, but he held me tightly, keeping me upright as he moved ever so slowly, pulling us along.

"How do you keep your footing?"

"Practice." He shrugged. I wasn't moving at all, but yet I was moving across the ice, my shoes slick against the surface of it. I felt like I was going to fall, but Carlisle kept a tight hold to keep me from falling - I noticed he still watched where he placed his hands at on my arms, minding the bruises that had finally started to heal.

I laughed, amused that we were actually out on the lake, moving across it swiftly. He picked up the speed at which we glided across and I stumbled again. He caught me without fail.

"This definitely beats being on the battlefield."

. . .

It was still dark before we got back into town. I was freezing cold, but I didn't tell him that. He helped me down from the sleigh again and we ducked into the alleyway - my window was still wide open, two stories above us.

"Close your eyes." He said and I had the strangest sense of Deja Vu as he lifted me up. Wind rushed by and he told me I could open my eyes. I did - I was back in my room.

"How did you do that?"

"My secret." He said, that teasing smirk playing on his face. I shook my head.

"Eventually, you're going to have to tell me."

"I will. Eventually." He agreed. "But not yet. In time."

"Promise?"

"Promise." He assured. I peeled off his coat and moved to hand it back to him, but he shook his head. I frowned.

"Keep it."

I hung it on the bedpost, turning back toward him.

"Thank you for tonight."

"It was my pleasure, Esme."

I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek, his skin cold against my lips. I lingered for a moment, my fingers entwining with his below. When I pulled away, his eyes were closed, his face relaxed. I took my chance and leaned back in, brushing my lips against his on impulse.

His eyes snapped open and I pulled away, but he brought a hand up to cup my cheek. He closed the distance between us again and kissed me. His lips were just as cold as the rest of his body was, but that didn't matter. He'd kissed me, and I was going to enjoy it.

I forced myself to pull away when I needed to catch a breath, and I rested my forehead against his. His thumb brushed against my cheek gently, his hands smoother than I expected.

"If only you knew what you did to me, Esme." He whispered, so quietly I barely heard it.

"I'm sorry." I was still a bit breathless.

"Don't be." His grip tightened on my fingers.

We stood in complete silence for a long moment. My heart hammered hard against my chest, flopping around almost violently.

"Stay." It took me a moment to realize I had said it. "Stay with me tonight."

He gave a gentle smile. "I can't stay much longer, but I'll stay as long as I can." He promised. "You should change."

I grabbed the clothes I slept in, going into the washroom to quickly change. I ran a brush through my hair a few times and studied my reflection in the mirror for a fraction of a second before I rejoined Carlisle, who was now sitting on the edge of my bed. He had closed the window and it was starting to warm back up in my room.

He held out a hand toward me and I grabbed it, letting me tug me into the bed. I giggled as he pulled me into his arms, shifting so that my head was on his chest, his fingers combing gently through my hair. I sighed in contentment.

"Goodnight, Esme." He murmured low in my ear.

"Goodnight, Carlisle." I was already half asleep.

"Sweet dreams . . . ."


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't see Carlisle again until Christmas Eve.

Humming a song to myself, I tried to finish writing in my journal. Unfortunately, I had run out of things to write about. I signed my name at the bottom of my entry with a sigh before marking my page with a ribbon, shutting it. I was gentle with it, for I had flowers pressed between the pages. Ever since Carlisle had stayed that night with me, I had woken up with a different flower on my pillow every morning. I wasn't sure how he got into my room.

A blast of cold air hit my back and I turned - my window was wide open. I frowned - I thought I had locked that. I moved to shut it, making sure to deliberately lock the latch and drawing the curtains back closed.

"Trying to keep something out?

I whirled, jumping slightly at the sound of the familiar voice.

Carlisle stood at the foot of my bed, grinning. I shook my head at him, folding my arms across my chest. He pulled me into an embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

"Merry Christmas."

"It's not Christmas yet."

"Only a few more hours." He pointed out. "But I'm giving you your Christmas present tonight."

"I can't give you yours until spring." I told him. I had come up with the perfect gift - at least, in my mind it would be.

"Your presence is enough of a gift for me." He said and tugged me toward the bed. He reclined against my pillows and I sat at the foot of the bed, legs crossed. We sat in silence for a long moment, my fingers wrapped around his and absentmindedly playing with the ring on his finger. It was silver with black on the top, with three clovers and a lion that I could barely make out along the black.

"So, what's this gift of yours?" I asked, looking up at him.

"There's two parts to it." He said, reaching into his pocket. "This is the first part."

He held out something to me and I took it into my hands. Something shiny tumbled into my fingers and my breath hitched in my throat. It was a silver necklace with a sapphire jewel pendant, surrounded by tiny diamonds that reflected light and sent shadows across the walls.

"Carlisle . . . It's beautiful." I murmured. "You shouldn't have gotten me something so expensive."

"Price doesn't matter when it comes to you, Esme." He said and leaned forward, taking it from my hands. I slipped my hair aside and he hooked it around my neck. The pendant fell to rest at the base of my throat, the silver cold against my skin.

"Thank you."

"I think you'll like part two better." He mused and sat back up. I arched an eyebrow.

"I don't think you could top yourself, Carlisle."

"I'm going to tell you who I am."

"I know who you are. Carlisle Cullen."

"I mean _what_ I am."

I felt my heart screech to a brief halt before lurching into a more upbeat rhythm. He gave a small smile.

"You're not going to like it. You'll hate me."

"Nothing in this world can make me hate you, Carlisle."

He chuckled, almost darkly. I frowned. He was starting to weird me out about it.

"I'm immortal. I can't die." He started. "There's been many names for what I am, but the one we use is 'vampire'. Just like the stories."

I blinked. Then laughed.

"Carlisle, be serious."

"I'm being dead serious, Esme." He assured, his gaze never leaving mine. I wasn't exactly schooled in knowledge about the fictional creatures, but I knew enough. They couldn't die except by certain ways. It would explain perhaps his pale skin, and his eyes changing color.

"Why are your eyes gold?"

"Unlike the others like me, I prefer the diet of animals instead of humans."

I went white at the thought of humans being attacked for food. At least I had found the one vampire who didn't attack humans.

"There are others like you?"

"Yes, and it's them I'm afraid of. If they find out you know about us, they'll hurt you. Humans aren't supposed to know."

I remained silent for a long moment, letting it sink in. I didn't believe it. I honestly didn't want to. However, the more I sat there and thought about it, the more it began to fall into place.

"Then your whole family is like you?"

"Yes. They share my diet. I changed most of them when they were inches from death."

More silence.

"Okay."

It was the only thing I could think of to say. I wasn't going to freak out or run. I wouldn't have cared what Carlisle was, it didn't stop me from loving him. Just because he happened to be some fantasy creature of the night didn't change anything. I just now understood more about him. Part of me still wanted to ask him what kind of joke he was pulling, but by the too serious look on his face, I knew somewhere in my heart and mind that he wasn't lying.

"Okay?" He asked tenderly after a moment and I nodded.

"I told you, Carlisle. Nothing can change the fact that I love you." I leaned over and pulled him into a kiss just to show how much I loved him. He lips twisted into a half smile.

"I love you more than you could know."

I moved on the bed, moving to curl into his side.

"Would you ever change me?" I inquired after another long moment of silence. I felt him stiffen beside me and I looked up at him.

"Esme, this life . . . It isn't something you should ask me to give you. It's a harsh life, a damned life that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemies, let alone someone as exquisite as you." He replied quietly, fingers stroking along my jaw bone, stopping at my chin. His fingers continued to trace a pattern down my neck that gave me chills up my spine and goose bumps along my arms. "If you were dying and there was no hope of saving you, than yes. I won't lie - you'd make a rather beautiful vampire. Your eyes, though, I would miss, with the unnatural green color they are."

I gave a half smile. "Then I shall do my best not to die anytime soon. Although, I doubt you'll love me when I'm old and wrinkly. I'm already two years older than you, if you're 23." I mused. He chuckled.

"I'm over two hundred. I doubt you'll ever catch up with me. And I'll love you no matter how old you get, wrinkles and all."

"Not what I meant." I shook my head, my hands curling in the fabric of his shirt almost possessively - I had taken a habit of doing that. My hands strayed to the place over his heart and stopped.

He had no heartbeat.

My breath hitched in my throat and he appeared to have noticed, because one of his hands closed over mine.

"That's . . . Different." I murmured.

"Sorry.

"No, don't be. It's just new, is all." I kept my hand pressed flat against his chest for a long moment, half expecting his heart to lurch to life beneath my fingers.

It didn't.

"How do you not want to kill me by being this close?" I inquired.

"Years of practice. You do smell delicious, though. Like vanilla, lavender, and . . .peppermint." His face was in my hair and I couldn't help but giggle.

"You smell like a hospital." I wrinkled my nose as I inhaled his scent. There was another, underlying scent besides that of the sterile environment of a hospital. I couldn't place it.

The lines he had been tracing down my neck with his fingers now began to be re-traced with his lips. My head tilted of its own accord – something didn't seem safe about exposing my neck to a vampire, but I trusted Carlisle. He wouldn't hurt me.

As he continued his assault, I let go of my mind, enjoying what he was doing far too much.

. . .

After New Year's Day, they shipped us back to the battlefield. Well, they shipped the other girls. I had another destination in mind when I went further south and volunteered as a southern nurse. I was given a uniform with gray on it instead of the blue one I had thrown away before leaving.

This was my gift to Carlisle. Switching sides to work for the south as a nurse, where I had made sure I would be sent to the same camp he was in. I wondered how he would react to seeing me there.

I would find out soon enough.

Just like it had before in the north, the train stopped at the various camps, letting the volunteered doctors, nurses, and soldiers off at the appropriate places. I stayed with a small group that got off at the very last stop.

All in all, it was no different than the northern camp. Tents were set up everywhere – except there were several more than what I remembered in the north. It wasn't surprising, as the south had more soldiers had this particular site than the north. I'd hoped they would have moved on from this spot by now, but it appeared they were determined to keep fighting until all of them were dead or incapacitated.

They allowed the three nurses – including myself – and the doctor to drop off our things at the tent we'd be sleeping in before we were ushered toward the hospital tent.

"Evans, Jones, you'll be working with Dr. Henrys over there." The man leading us around pointed the two nurses toward a doctor in the corner, who waved them over. The doctor of our group had already vanished to help a patient, having already received his orders.

"Platt," I stood a bit taller when he called my name. "You're with Dr. Cullen."

"Yes, sir."

"You'll find him outside on his break."

"Yes, sir."

He left, and I ventured outside of the tent. A chilly breeze had picked up, but at least the snow had already started to melt so I was saved the trouble of having to trudge through it toward Carlisle, who I had spotted not far away, talking with a group of soldiers who were laughing, apparently at some joke he had just told. I couldn't help but smile.

"It seems I've been assigned to work with you, Dr. Cullen." I called once I was near enough and six pairs of eyes turned toward me, including Carlisle's. His face seemed to light up when he saw me, and the gray trim along my uniform. He was working it out in his head, and he grinned when he realized what I had done.

"Gentlemen, this is the lady I was talking about." He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer. I went red when I realized he had been talking about me. "This is Miss. Esme Platt, apparently my new nurse."

They chuckled and I shook hands with all of them, noting how rough their hands were.

I half tuned them out as Carlisle politely finished his conversation with them, instead of running straight off with me. I was just content in being in his company again.

As soon as they were gone, however, Carlisle pulled me toward a nearby tent. It was another residential tent - he pulled me over toward one of the beds and we sat down, his hands in mind.

"What on Earth are you doing here?" He inquired, but he was smiling.

"This was the other part of the Christmas gift I was talking about. I've switched sides and come to work with you." I replied, shrugging. I had no reason to continue to work for the north.

"Any particular reason?"

My mind went to Charles almost instantly, involuntarily and I shut my eyes against the thought of him. I felt Carlisle's hand pressed against my cheek in an instant. I still had yet to tell him about the man that I had wasted those years of my life with.

"What's wrong?"

"Just thinking about something I shouldn't." I said, wincing slightly as I opened my eyes and saw the worry reflected on his face. "I'll tell you later tonight, if you still want to know. I don't have time to explain at all before we're due on shift."

He nodded and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

Working with Carlisle was easier than most of the other doctors I had worked with before. Somehow I knew exactly what he wanted me to do without him telling me, just by his actions. We worked silently, swiftly, and carefully. I was slightly marveled as I watched him work. He was smooth and flawless in his work, a bit quicker than any normal doctor could be. Then I remembered he was a vampire and it was part of who he was. I wondered if that was why he was able to save so many lives. He'd be able to sense what was wrong with them - assuming his enhanced hearing let him hear blood flow and heart rates and such.

Our shift together ended at nearly midnight, and I was pleased to find I had managed to avoid getting blood on me. Carlisle was cleaner than the doctors in the north.

Neither one of us retired to our tents - instead, we walked around camp in the chilly night air. He had already removed his jacket and threw it around me.

"So what was that about something you shouldn't be thinking?" He inquired after a moment of silence had passed between us. I should have known he wouldn't have forgotten about it.

"There was a man, Charles Evenson, that I was married to for a few years before he went off to war. I got a letter about his death, and I got over it. Imagine my surprise when he's carried in on a stretcher into the hospital tent." I muttered, almost darkly. "He'd faked his death. It would have been okay if he hadn't . . .if he hadn't have attacked me, just like he had our entire marriage. He beat me nearly every day we were married, and I took it. When he attacked me this time, he threatened . . .he threatened t-to kill you. So I let him." It came out all in one long ramble.

I stared at the ground, mostly ashamed and embarrassed about it. For a long moment, Carlisle was silent.

"He gave you those bruises?"

I only nodded silently.

He stopped, and pulled me into an embrace, his head resting on top of mine as he spoke. I buried my face in his chest.

"You know I'll never do that to you, and I'll never let anyone else do it to you, either." He said firmly. "And if I see this Charles Evenson of yours, I'll beat him within an inch of his life." His voice had grown darker and I pulled away with a frown.

"Don't. He's not worth it."

"Esme, he hurt you." His hand came to lift my chin, raising my eyes to look at his golden ones. I doubted I would ever get used to their natural color.

"I know he did. But beating him would put you at his level. You're too kindhearted for that, Carlisle. Just forget about him – you have me now." I gave a small smile, leaning up to kiss the base of his throat since he was far too rigid and tall from his anger for me to attempt to pull his head down so I could kiss his lips.

"I will not hurt him, because you asked me not to. I will, however, have a few words with him."

I cracked a large smile at the tone of his voice – he was struggling to keep it under control.

"Words are fine. I have a feeling you're going to scar him for life with your words, though."

"You better believe it." He muttered. "Now come on. You should get some sleep before shift in the morning."

Shaking my head, I allowed him to pull me toward my tent.


	6. Chapter 6

It was a few weeks later I awoke late for my shift.

Little would I realize it would be the start of events that would make my day considerably worse.

I scrambled around, pulling on my uniform. Hopefully I hadn't missed anything. I couldn't understand why someone hadn't come looking for me. We had moved to a new battlefield two weeks prior, and were getting more soldiers than ever. It became clear the north was winning the war.

I ducked out of my tent and toward the hospital. When I reached it, one of the other nurses caught me.

"Esme, you're supposed to be out on the field. They sent Dr. Cullen and a lot of the others to perform field work."

My stomach dropped instantly, but I nodded. I grabbed the equipment I would need, putting it in my pockets before ducking back out of the tent, and darting toward the battlefield. My heart was pounding in my chest. I didn't like battlefield duty. I had been sent out twice before - Carlisle had been with me both times, protecting me.

More than once I had been called an 'angel' by the soldiers who I had kept from dying, and the ones that had died in my arms. Carlisle had joking started calling me 'angel of the battlefield'.

The sounds of gunfire and canons grew near as I reached the hill where the battle was taking place. I looked around - there were several nurses in white near our side, but I couldn't see Carlisle anywhere. But I had to do my job, so I rushed to a nearby soldier writhing in pain on the ground with a gunshot wound to the shoulder.

I winced at every gunshot that echoed in the distance, and at every bullet that went by my head. I moved around the field, helping most to the safety zone after patching them up as best I could.

I was running low on supplies when I heard my name be called.

I whirled and someone smacked me hard across the cheek. I recoiled, alarmed, until I saw the man in the blue uniform in front of me.

Charles Evenson.

I had crossed into the territory where union and confederate soldiers mixed, fighting close combat.

"You traitor." He spat at me, advance. I stepped back, my hand still pressed to my stinging cheek. "No doubt you did it for him!"

"Get away from me." I ground out, my voice barely loud enough to be heard above the gunshots and canons around us.

"With pleasure. I have a confederate doctor to take care of." He leered and my stomach dropped. _Oh no_.

He took off, and for a moment I lost him within the fray - until I spotted a speck of white in the distance with blonde hair that we was moving toward.

I ran.

I didn't know if bullets could hurt vampires, but I didn't want to take that chance.

Carlisle was just standing up as I neared him, just ahead of Charles.

"Carlisle!" I screamed his name and he looked over.

Things seemed to go in slow motion. The look on his face when he saw my worry and fear said it all. Without warning, I threw myself in front of him as Charles raised his gun.

Then, I felt the pain blossoming across my abdomen, spreading to my side. Then my world tilted and I said hello to the ground with my face.

For a long moment, I couldn't feel anything. Everything seemed to be a dull roar in my ears and I tried to fight off impending blackness. I realized then that I had indeed been shot. I pressed my hands to my side, trying to stop the bleeding. My breathing turned labored the more I felt the blood slip through my fingers.

_Oh God. _I was going to die.

Among the roar, I heard my name faintly being called. I blinked, Carlisle's agonized face coming into view above me. I reached out a bloodied hand toward him and he grabbed it, his hands cold.

"Carlisle . . . ."

"Don't talk." His voice was so soft, I barely heard it. His eyes had darkened slightly, and it was getting harder for me to breathe. His hands were pressed to my side and my back arched in pain - my body was going numb. "Hang on, Esme." He murmured quietly.

I faded in and out of consciousness, but I tried to focus as Carlisle worked. It hurt the more he worked, and no matter what he did I could still feel blood.

My eyelids fluttered and I continued to fight the blackness - until it took me over and I was too tired to fight it anymore.

When I fought the black off again, I was being carried.

"Carlisle. . . ." I murmured, unable to move. I felt his cold arms hooked under my back and knees.

"Esme, you're going to be okay." He whispered and I felt his lips against my forehead. Assured, with the black coming toward me again, I fell back into a state of unconsciousness

I felt terrible. I couldn't tell where I was - anytime I tried to open my eyes, it was all a blur of color and it burned. It hurt to breathe, and for a while, I thought I was dead. I heard Carlisle's voice coming through the darkness every once in a while, but it was always a low murmur and I could hardly hear what he was saying.

"Esme . . . ."

His voice pulled me out of the abyss and I turned my head toward the sound of his voice.

"Mhm?"

"Esme. . . .I can't fix it. I tried . . .its infected. . . ." His voice was broken. I managed to lift a feeble hand and reached blindly toward his voice. His cold fingers wrapped around mine, and even through my darkness I could feel his hand shaking.

"Carlisle . . . .do it." I managed to get it out.

"What are you talking about, my love?" He whispered.

"Like . . . ._you_."

His hand tightened around mine, and I knew he understood. I didn't want to die.

"Esme, you'll be just as damned as me."

"Not . . .damned. . .with you. . . ."

There was a long silence, and for a moment I let myself slip back into the abyss.

Until I felt his other hand brush aside my hair, exposing my neck.

"I love you." He whispered, lips against my skin. I felt something slide into my neck. It was cold, and felt like someone had taken ice water and dumped it into my veins.

Then the ice turned to fire.

I bit back a scream as it threatened to escape my throat. Fire was coursing through my body, through my veins, extending to each and every part. I couldn't move - at least, my brain wouldn't comprehend my movement. My body moved of its own accord, thrashing, back arching with the intense pain. I felt hot tears stinging my cheeks, rolling down them.

"I know it hurts. I'm sorry." Carlisle's voice echoed somewhere near, worried and broken. I didn't blame him. I had suggested it. I didn't want to die. I wasn't afraid of the death part, just the dying part. I had been around death most of my life with being a nurse. And this way, I would be with Carlisle, who I could never imagine my life without anymore.

I just wished I had known what pain it would be, being changed.

I prayed it wouldn't last long.

A cry of pain finally escaped my lips and that seemed to be a breaking point for Carlisle, who's hand trembled harder as it was wrapped around mine. Darkness flickered at the edges of my mind, threatening to take me over again.

I let it, but the pain did not recede.

I had no sense of time, and no sense of what was happening around me. I couldn't focus on any one thought or any one emotion or any one feeling. I wasn't aware of anything except for the excruciating fire coursing through my body that seemed to get worse as time wore on. I didn't know how long it had been, but I hoped it would be over soon.

_Please, God._

A hand brushed against my cheek, continually brushing away the tears that had never stopped. My mouth was opened in a silent scream of pain, face twisted as I tried to fight the pain away. My body was rejecting it.

My heart fluttered - I could hear my blood rushing in my ears. It began to pick up pace and the pain became more intense. It was fighting back too, against the poisonous venom that was invading my body. It felt like my heart was going to burst as it thumped in my chest.

It stayed like that for a while - again, I didn't know exactly how long. I was trying to be strong, for myself and for Carlisle, but the pain was starting to become too much. The longer I lay there, the longer it began to get to me, and the harder my body began to fight against it.

Then, I began to regain feeling.

The fire didn't fade, but I began to regain control of my own body. I could barely move my fingers and feet, but the feeling was there. As the feeling began to travel, the fire consuming me finally began to fade. My heart rate increased once more, as it seemed to be sucking the fire and pain away. It continued to fade, and as soon as it reached my heart, it stopped. My heart gave a final shudder, and then stopped completely.

I opened my eyes.

They were flooded with the most brilliant colors I had ever seen. Everything was suddenly sharper, more defined. I blinked and it came into clearer focus. I was sprawled out across a bed in an unfamiliar room. It was almost entirely dark in the room, except for the small crack in the thick curtains that faint light was steaming through.

"Esme."

I looked over - Carlisle stood beside the bed, looking at me warily. I reached a hand toward him and he grabbed it. For the first time ever, his skin felt warm against mine.

Then I noticed how my pale hand matched the shade of his own.

Before I knew was I was doing or what had happened, I was on my feet. I blinked, frowning. Carlisle was giving a half smile.

"It's okay, Esme. It takes a while to get used to it." He said. I inhaled, nodding. Instantly I could pick out different scents - two main ones. Carlisle, who smelled like peppermint, and a strange vanilla scent that mingled with his. I frowned again.

"Now you see how delicious you smell?" He mused, pressing a kiss to the top of my forehead. Apparently the vanilla scent was me. "Now you understand why you were so irresistible."

"So you only love me for my blood?" I inquired, teasing. My voice sounded different, somehow lighter and more musical. He chuckled.

"Of course not. I love you for you." He murmured. "You're okay, aren't you?"

Honestly, I didn't feel any different, except when I put my hand to my chest, I had no heartbeat. I didn't need to breath either, which was a bit awkward to me. I wondered if I looked any different.

"I'm fine."

"How do you feel?"

". . . Amazing." I gave a smile. He returned it and guided me toward the mirror beside the door, as if he could read my thoughts.

I was paler, obviously, and my hair had darkened a shade into a caramel color. I was still the same for the most part, except my eyes. They were a brilliant red. They alarmed me - Carlisle's were topaz. Why were mine red?

"Why are my eyes red?"

"Vampires that choose the diet of human blood have red eyes. The blood that was in your body is still in your system. Your eyes will eventually lighten to gold." He explained, standing behind me. I nodded and he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, resting his head on my shoulder. I continued to study myself in the mirror, and then the room around me.

"Where exactly are we?"

"Home, in Louisiana. You do remember Jasper bringing you here, don't you?"

I nodded again.

"You carried me all the way here?"

It was his turn to nod. I shook my head at him, turning to pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You didn't have to do that."

"But I did. It's safer here." He murmured. "Besides, everyone thinks you're dead. Esme Platt is listed as dying on the battlefield - as is Charles Evenson and Carlisle Cullen." He continued slowly. I was dead to everyone. But they had no body to bury. I guessed my parents would get a letter stating I had died in action. I'd have my name put on some memorial after the war.

"So we have to go under different names now?"

"I have several identities, but I'll be keeping Carlisle Cullen for now. You, however, may be a different story. But that's nothing to worry about right now." He said, and rested his hands on my shoulders. "Esme, you really are okay with this? Being like this?"

"I asked you to change me. If I hadn't, it'd be a different story." I replied. "I'm fine with it Carlisle. I'm not afraid or nervous or anything like I'm assuming you'll expect I am." I gave a small shrug. "I suppose it hasn't really set in fully yet, either. Maybe I'll have a different reaction once it does. For now, though, I'm fine."

I glanced back at my reflection, noticing the dried blood on my uniform. It was my own, I realized, when I smelled it. I lifted the top of my uniform up to expose my pale stomach - I expected some sort of mark to be there where I had been shot, but there was none.

But I had a new problem. The smell of the dried blood had gone straight to my throat and made it dry. Carlisle seemed to notice the change within me, and took my hands.

"I'm sorry, forgive me. You must be hungry. Would you prefer me get you something, or would you rather hunt?"

"You mean animals?"

"Yes."

I had never supported hunting. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to kill a defenseless animal. I stared at the ground with a frown.

"Don't worry." His hand touched my cheek and my eyes met his again. "I'll get you something. We'll work on hunting later. I'll leave you to change. Alice gave you some of her clothes that she doesn't wear anymore." He nodded toward a wardrobe in the corner.

"I shall have to thank her then." I said. I wondered how his family would react to me.

"And I believe this belongs to you."

He pulled the necklace he had gotten me out of his pocket, easily looping it around my neck and latching it so it fell into place. I smiled and touched the stones.

"Thank you."

"I won't be long. We're far enough away from any humans, so I'm entrusting Edward to make sure you stay here, safely away from anything tempting. The first year for a newborn is the hardest, but I have faith that you'll manage." He pulled me into a lingering kiss, and then he was gone.

I took a single step and before I knew it I was across the room at the wardrobe. I really needed to get control of myself. I grabbed the handle and I felt it bend - super strength. Right. Needed to watch that.

As if it were tissue paper, I carefully opened the door and was instantly alarmed at the number of dresses that stared back at me. I don't think I'd ever owned so many in my entire life. I picked one at random, gently pulling it from the hangar. I noticed there were shoes in the bottom of the wardrobe as well, so I grabbed a pair that would match.

I changed, and pulled a brush I had found on the dresser through my tangled hair. It didn't look perfect, but then again, I doubted anyone would care, considering the ordeal I had just gone through. I had been right in saying it hadn't really hit me yet. I was waiting for it to - hopefully I wouldn't have some sort of mental breakdown.

Curious, I pulled open the door after I had changed. I heard piano music coming from somewhere downstairs. It sounded beautiful and melodic, almost hypnotizing. I followed the sounds of it down the stairs and into the parlor.

Carlisle's son, Edward, sat alone in the room at the piano, his hands moving quickly and smoothly over the ivory keys. Somehow, I could tell that Edward and I were now the only ones in the house.

I watched him, almost amazed at how beautiful it sounded. It took him only a moment to notice me.

"Hello, Ms. Platt."

"It's just Esme, if you don't mind." I gave a small smile. "You play wonderfully. I wish I had taken up lessons when my parents offered them."

He chuckled. "It's not that hard." He played a simple tune with his right hand. "You just have to know which notes to play with which hand. It's hard at first, but you learn quickly."

When Carlisle returned twenty minutes later with a crystal glass full of something a dark red in color, he found me leaning against the piano as I listened to Edward play an upbeat tune. Without warning, he sat the glass down and swept me into a dance around the parlor. I laughed.

Oh yes, I would definitely like it here.


	7. Chapter 7

_**I don't like the way this one turned out. Most of it was written while I was sick, so excuse how rushed it is and how sucky it is! Thanks for all the awesome reviews!**_

After nightfall - and after my newly found thirst had been quenched - I wandered out onto the back porch. The others would be returning home soon, as Carlisle had said, and I wanted a bit of time to think before I faced them. Jasper and Edward I already knew, but the others . . . I was afraid they'd absolutely hate me.

"That won't happen." Came a musical voice and I looked over as Edward lingered in the doorway. Right. He could read thoughts, or something like that. He'd explained it to me earlier, that their family had gifts.

"I hope not." I sighed and curled my fingers within the fabric off the dress I wore. I felt nice to be wearing normal clothing again, especially a dress like this.

There was a rush of air and Edward was gone, leaving me alone. I wandered silently into the gardens in the back of the plantation house - flowers were just beginning to bloom because it was spring, and I could see the buds even in the darkness. My eyes had already adjusted easily to seeing at night, as it was now part of my new found nature.

I was a vampire now. There was no going back, no changing back into a frail little human. I would live forever, hopefully at least with Carlisle. I wouldn't be left alone. But it did come with a price - I would drink animal blood the rest of eternity to keep myself alive. Not only that, but I would have to change my name for a while, and try to cover up the fact that I had not actually died.

And I'd never be able to have children.

Carlisle had told me, and I understood why. The more I thought about it, the more it became apparent that it would be the only thing I would miss from being human. Perhaps I could eventually adopt a child. Maybe even a vampire child - I'd always wanted children. But now, biological children would be impossible.

But somehow, I'd make up for it. Eventually. After all, I had all of forever.

Humming to myself, I made my way through the garden, fingers trailing over the hedges and buds of the soon-to-be flowers gently. I loved how I could sense everything around me with such precision, and how I could move with such grace - as Carlisle had put it, I was perfect in every way.

On the outskirts of the garden, I found a tall tree - it reminded me of the tree I had climbed as a little girl. I had fallen out of that tree and broken my leg - now I had the sudden overwhelming urge to climb this tree in front of me now. I was indestructible and I couldn't die, so why not?

I grabbed the lowest branch and pulled myself into the tree with surprising ease, making sure I was careful not to rip my dress. I climbed, moving from branch to branch rather easily until I reached the thinner branches at the top, the ones that wouldn't hold my weight. I could easily see across the grounds of the plantation - I was almost level with the top balcony that wrapped around the house.

I sat on one of the branches for a while - I wasn't sure how long, just that I was there for a while, simply wrapped in my own thoughts. I enjoyed the silence, and enjoyed the time alone. For once, it was nice not to have to listen to the sounds of canon fire or gunshots, or deal with the injuries and death of soldiers constantly coming into a too small tent.

Then there was Charles. My hand drifted to my abdomen, to rest over a scar I knew that wouldn't be there from a gunshot. He'd shot me - he'd intended to kill Carlisle, but I had stepped in front of him at the last minute. I couldn't bare to see him harmed, so I had jumped in front of him.

Carlisle had told me after we had been dancing what had happened to Charles..

He'd killed him.

It'd only taken a moment, but when Carlisle had realized what had happened, he'd gone into a rage and snapped Charles's neck before tending to me, bleeding on the ground.

I hated to imagine that Carlisle was capable of such, but I was glad Charles was out of my life. Then again, I had to remember I now had the power Carlisle had.

As if to confirm this, I reached out and grabbed a thicker branch and snapped it off. Examining the dark bark in my hand, I tossed it away from the tree so that it fell straight down without hindrance.

It was only when the wind blew the scent of others toward me did I realize I needed to head back inside and actually re-meet the other members of Carlisle's family. His children, he had called them. He had changed all of them himself personally, so I understood why they considered him a father.

"I wasn't aware you liked to make your home in a tree, my little bird."

I jumped at the voice - it seemed so close, but when the scent was blown toward me, I realized Carlisle was still quite a ways off, having stepped out onto the balcony.

"I was just thinking." I replied, stepping out further onto the branch carefully, feeling it bend a little under my weight.

"Come over here." He held out his hand. Did he expect me to jump that far? I figured I could, with my new abilities, so why not give it a shot? Gathering my skirts into tight fists on either side, I crouched low on the branch and jumped -

- and landed right in front of Carlisle on the balcony. He caught me as I stumbled, chuckling.

"You'll get used to it." He promised.

"I doubt it." I let my skirts drop, my hands finding his now. He warm lips pressed against my cheek, then found my lips. Oh yes, I could definitely get used to being in his constant company.

"Are you ready to meet the others?" He asked, leading me inside now.

"I suppose. I hope they like me."

"How could they not?"

We entered through the doors and moved through the house at a human pace, down the stairs and down the hall, into the parlor. We stopped in the doorway.

His 'children' lingered in various places around the room. Rosalie and Emmett were seated on the couch, Jasper and Alice near the window. Edward and Bella stood near the piano, leaning against it.

All of them looked at me with the same shade of topaz colored eyes, none of them moving.

"Hello." I had never been shy, but it was at this point in time that I became a bit nervous about their reactions toward me. If they didn't like me, Carlisle wouldn't keep me around.

For a moment, they didn't move. Then Alice was suddenly in front of me, smiling. Her little arms wrapped around me then, pulling me into a hug. I was at a loss of what to do, but then I wrapped my arms around her in a hug as well.

"Welcome to the family." She murmured in my ear and I gave her a quizzical look - I technically wasn't part of the family. Well, in a way I suppose I was, since I was with Carlisle, but I didn't know how long that would last.

Jasper stepped forward then as Alice stepped back.

"It's good to see you again, ma'am." His southern accent was familiar and I smiled.

"It's a pleasure to see you again too." I replied and he gave a grin.

Edward and Bella approached next, Bella pulling me into a hug like Alice had done and Edward flashing a smile. Emmett was after them, and I was surprised when he crushed me in a tight hug. I laughed when I was lifted off the ground several inches, crushed in his hug for a long moment.

Rosalie was the last to approach, and I could almost sense the amount of hesitation she held. Nonetheless, she came forward and hugged me quickly and briefly.

Well, I was glad the hard part was over with. Now I would just have to get used to living in an house with them.

They all went off to do other things, so Carlisle and I went on a walk toward the stables. They kept a few horses to keep up human appearances when they traveled, and I wanted to see them.

"There's something you should be aware of, Esme." Carlisle began and I looked over at him. The sun was just beginning to come up, early morning rays hitting his skin at just the right angle to make it sparkle. I imagined mine would look something like it in a few moments when the light touched mine.

"What would that be?"

"Right now I have . . . Old friends, who are less than happy with me for reasons I cannot begin to explain." He said slowly and I frowned. What on Earth was he talking about? I nodded for him to continue. "They're like us, of course, but much more powerful, with far more influence. I fear they may try and harm one of the others, or you, for that matter, to try and get to me."

I paused, pressing my hand against his cheek with a soft smile.

"I'm not afraid, Carlisle. I have you." I said and he smiled, almost forcefully though, and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose.

"I doubt something will happen, but I figured you might want to be forewarned in case something does."

"Well, then thank you for warning me." I tightened my fingers around his. "Now, let's go for a ride. You have yet to show me all of the area around here."

He chuckled, and pulled me into an embrace.

Twenty minutes later and we rode together on a chestnut colored horse that Carlisle had taken less than five minutes to saddle up. I'd never ridden a horse before, much less ridden with a leg on either side - I'd always heard ladies rode side-saddle, but I suppose that wasn't true anymore. At least for me. Not that I cared - I just wasn't used to it.

Carlisle's chest against my back felt incredible, and I found myself leaning back into his touch as we slowed to a fast walk, his voice pointing out things to me quietly - I gave the objects my attention for a fraction of a second before my attention turned back to him. Just listening to his voice put me at ease, and it wasn't long before I realized I had drifted so far off, it was taking him longer to pull me back to reality.

"Sorry . . . What did you say?"

"I think I figured out a solution to your name problem. Changing it, that is." He said, and I twisted a bit to look at him, arching a slender eyebrow.

"Oh really? What would that be?"

"Marry me."

I certainly hadn't been expecting that, and if Carlisle's arms hadn't been on either side of me, I would have fallen straight off the horse. My mind instantly went back to my first marriage and I couldn't stop the flood of terrible memories that came through. I took several unneeded breaths, until I realized I had started hyperventilating - Carlisle realized my distress.

"Esme, calm down. I won't be offended if you say no." He said in such a voice that it nearly snapped my heart in half. I wanted to marry Carlisle, and I knew he'd never harm me. It was just the memories that I retained - they refused to go away.

"No, no, it's not that." I managed to get out as I tried to calm myself down, my fingers curling into the mane of the horse in front of me. "I just . . . ." I couldn't even explain it. "I . . . I-I . . . ."

"I understand, Esme, I do." He murmured quietly in my ear. "You must know that I will never, never hurt you. I will do everything in my power to protect you from anyone or anything that wants to harm you."

"I know." I whispered, twisting to look at him again. My gaze traced his perfect features and my fingers followed, all the way down his jaw line and to his exposed collarbone. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to kiss me on impulse.

"Yes." I murmured against his lips before I pulled away, inhaling deeply. "Yes, I'd be more than happy to marry you. I trust you, and I love you unbelievably so."

He gave a gentle smile to match the one I imagined was on my face before he kissed me again. His arm moved away from wrapping around my waist for a fraction of an instant, and when he pulled away, he was holding up a slender silver ring with a crystal clear diamond that refracted light in such a way that it matched the way our skin glittered. It was utterly gorgeous, and probably cost a small fortune.

Carlisle took my hand and kissed my knuckles, before sliding the ring onto my finger. I admired it a moment longer before I pulled him into a hug, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

"So this is what Alice meant." I mused after a moment, when we had finally began riding again. Carlisle chuckled.

"Alice does see everything."

. . .

For the next three days, the Cullen family made me feel right at home. Rosalie still had yet to warm up to me, but the others appeared to be. I felt liked I belonged here, at least, which was something.

But I still couldn't help but feel like something was off. Just some of the looks Carlisle kept giving me, especially when he thought I wasn't looking. For some reason, my mind went back to what he had told me, about the friends he had that were angry with him, and couldn't help but think it had something to do with them. Were they threatening him? Or me? Or was he just worrying about me again?

It left me wary the next few days after the weird looks began. The quiet whispers started after that - usually between Carlisle and Alice and Edward. They never let me near enough to hear what they were talking about, even with my enhanced senses on overdrive. It caused me even more panic - but then Jasper would swoop in and calm me before Carlisle whisked me away to go for a walk outside or go up to his study to read for a while, and successfully distract me.

There was something off, and I wanted to know what it was.

"Carlisle," I began one morning, three weeks after we became engaged. We were in our room, with Carlisle in the middle of the room sorting through old medical texts Alice had found in the attic. I had been standing near the window, but now I moved to sit on the edge of the bed. It was the middle of the night, and all the others had gone out hunting, leaving us alone in the house.

"Hm?"

"What's wrong?"

He looked up, frowning slightly as I leaned against one of the posts that rose up, stretching toward the ceiling.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not completely blind, Carlisle." I replied quietly. "I know something's going on that you're not telling me."

He was beside me in an instant.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want you to worry about it. Alice had just had a few visions of my friends coming to pay me a visit, is all." He said slowly. I hadn't expected him to tell me the truth so easily - then again, by the look in his eyes, that wasn't all he was telling me.

"Is that all?" I inquired, arching a slender eyebrow.

"Of course. You know I would never lie to you, my love." He murmured, leaning forward to press a kiss against my temple. His lips made a trail down the side of my face before they found my own and he pulled me into a fiery kiss that I never would have expected from him.

"Carlisle . . . ." I said when he pulled away, taking unneeded breaths to try and steady the way my head was spinning - I knew I couldn't be effected properly by dizziness, but it was just that effect he had on me. And I liked it. ". . . don't start something you can't finish."

He gave a crooked grin, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me closer toward him.

"Believe me, I can finish it." He murmured against my skin, trailing kissed down my neck now, lingering over the scar he had given me, before continuing lower. My fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt and I felt it rip - newborn strength. Right.

But that didn't matter, considering within a few moments neither of us would have any clothes on at all.

Besides, it could be replaced later.

A flash of a memory shot through my mind and I recoiled out of habit.

"Carlisle, I . . . . Charles . . . ." I sounded pathetic again, but Carlisle understood my distress instantly. He rested a hand against my cheek.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to, Esme. I don't want to hurt you."

I only nodded for a moment. We sat in silence, leaving me to my thoughts for a moment. I had to forget Charles. He could no longer hurt me.

Carlisle moved to get up, but I grabbed his shirt tighter, ripping it a bit more before he sat back down. I took the opportunity to pull him into another kiss, pulling his hands toward me before I murmured against his lips.

" . . . . _I'm yours _. . . ."

I should have known something was up when the others didn't return that next morning. Carlisle had promised to go searching for them, so he had reluctantly left me alone in our room. I didn't think anything of it as I changed back into clothes, still a bit stiff from the previous night - but in a good way.

I moved to put on the necklace Carlisle had given me, but I found it gone. I frowned and glanced around - it was nowhere in sight.

I ran a brush through my hair and ventured downstairs. His scent lingered, of course, mingled with the others - who's scents had almost vanished completely now. Something was definitely not right.

Then I saw the note on the table by the door. I picked it up, recognizing Carlisle's familiar writing on it.

_My dearest Esme,_

_Understand how much I love you, and how I wish it wouldn't come to this. _

_My friends have threatened you one too many times - I have kept this from you so you would not worry. I'm sorry to say I have to leave - you won't see me for a while. In order to keep you safe, I had to make my friends believe that we were no longer together, and I was no longer associated with you. Only then would they leave you alone._

_The house is yours, do with it what you will. _

_I hope perhaps this will be over soon, and I'll be able to see you again. After all, we only have forever._

_I love you, so very much._

_Forever yours,_

_Carlisle_

I didn't realize I was shaking until the letter fell from my hand. I took two steps to pick it up, but my knees gave out and I fell to the hard ground, shaking harder now, unable to stop the sobs that came.

He was gone.

Angrily I got to my feet, running back up to our room. I looked everywhere - his clothes were gone. I went to the study - all of his papers were gone, but his rows of medical texts remained in place.

Anything personal he had ever shared with me or shown me was gone, I realized, as I moved through the house, searching every room, only to come up empty handed. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. Carlisle had left me alone. He insisted it was to keep me safe, but the fool didn't realize I only ever wanted to be with him, and I could be safe with him better than I could alone. I was a newborn - I could defend myself.

Distraught, I threw myself onto our bed and breathed in his scent as much as I could, memorizing it so I wouldn't forget it. My entire body continued to shake, shaking the bed along with it. I couldn't help it. My worst fear had come to life, and I was never going to see the man I loved ever again.

With a sudden thought, I looked down at my hand, and shook harder.

My engagement ring was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

I sat alone for a week straight on my bed, unsure of what to do. My hunger was growing - I was still a newborn. I couldn't understand why he would leave since I was still a newborn, and therefore a danger to humans in the area. I couldn't understand why he would leave me at all.

At least I knew now what he had been hiding from me.

But I had trusted him. He'd broken that.

I finally forced myself to hunt, if only to sustain myself for another terrible, lonely week. I caught two deer in the forest - at least until Carlisle's scent distracted me. It was faint, but there. Part of me wanted to follow it, to follow after him, but what would I do when I caught up with him? Beg him to take me with him? Ask him what kind of a jerk he was for leaving me?

Before I could make a decision, the scent was gone with another passing swipe of the window.

My stone heart shattered a little more.

In a rage, I grabbed a tree branch and ripped it down, throwing it several feet with a loud growl that seemed to echo around me. It made me angry as much as it made me depressed and sad. _I had trusted him_. Trusted him not to do this to me.

I was sure if I ever saw him again, I'd be torn on whether to kiss him or kill him.

Back at the house, I ventured into the attic out of curiosity, finding nothing but dust covered boxes and trunks. I opened one - it was mostly old clothes that had gone out of fashion several years ago. Faint scents wafted up at me, the entire Cullen family mingled together in one trunk. I shut it with a broken sigh.

Then I realized that one of the boxes toward the back had been disturbed recently, within the past week or so. I frowned - no one had been in the house but me - but got to my feet and pulled it open.

I found all of Carlisle's old clothes, and all the things I had thought he'd taken from the house. I shifted through them, and at the very bottom I found the necklace he had gotten me and the engagement ring, both tucked away in boxes. Without hesitation I pulled them out and put them both on.

I needed something, anything to remind me of him. I still wanted to find him, eventually.

As for now, there was nothing left for me here. So I left.

I didn't know where to go, but I new I had to avoid any major areas that held soldiers or were near a battlefield, in case my name was being passed around on a document that held a list of the dead. Technically I was dead, but not in the way they thought.

I entered one of the little shops in New Orleans that night when it was less crowded so I wouldn't be inclined to feast on humans and found a map of the United States spread out across one of the walls. I stared at it, before my gaze finally drifted to New York. It was a state I could easily lose myself in, change my name, and start working as a nurse again. Then, once I was strong enough and had overcome my newborn urges, I'd maybe move to the city.

Without money for a ticket and not willing to pawn off my necklace or ring, I would have to run - but that didn't bother me. It would give me time to dwell on my thoughts more - and probably build up more fury and rage.

So I ran.

Running allowed my rage and anger to diffuse a bit, but it then left me with my sadness. I felt shattered again - I felt like I had after Charles had used to beat me. Carlisle had dealt an emotional blow rather than physical, and it hurt probably more than he had realized. I felt sick - even though vampires weren't plagued with such, it didn't stop me from my mind convincing myself that I was sick.

My trust for him was gone. Hell, my trust for anyone anymore was gone. The last two relationships with anyone had turned out badly, destroying any sort of hope for a relationship now. But I was strong - emotionally and physically - I'd get over it.

After all, I had forever.

Days began to blur into weeks, and weeks into months as I began a new life for myself, stuck without much of a choice in the matter. I found a town called Ithaca - it wasn't too big or too small, but quite perfect. It was easy to charm my way into the hospital, and soon I had my own home just outside of town. It needed a bit of work, but I'd manage.

The war ended, and I was more than happy. Months went by quicker then - but it wasn't a year and a half before I had to move from Ithaca because people were getting suspicious. I still didn't trust myself in New York City, so I roamed a while until I picked a sleepy town in Massachusetts. They welcomed another nurse to their hospital staff with open arms. Being in hospitals helped me control my urges since I was around blood so much – I wondered if this was how Carlisle had trained himself.

No one ever suspected Esme – whatever last name I happened to be using at that time – as being a vampire. I got few questions about the ring I wore, so I had come up with the excuse that my fiancé had died during battle and I didn't have the heart to take off the ring. Some thought it tragic - I bet they wouldn't have if I'd told them what had really happened.

Over the next few months, I began to feel I wasn't alone.

It would just be a feeling, sometimes creeping over me when I walked home or when I was laying in bed at night, wondering what it would be like to sleep again. No one was ever there when I looked, of course, but that still didn't stop me from looking. Sometimes I imagined seeing a blur of pale skin and blonde hair, but I knew I had to be imagining it.

When it started to get too much, that would be when I moved again.

The 1800s faded into the 1900s, and soon came World War I. I refused to enlist as a nurse this time – instead, I was recruited to be part of the first staff of a Tuberculosis hospital in Kentucky – Waverly Hills, it was called. Apparently I was one of the top nurses in their eyes, so I'd been more than happy. The 'White Plague' was breaking out everywhere, and this promised to be one of the better hospitals. What better way than to kill a few more years?

It was just my luck I finally run into one of them.

I recognized the pixie girl who stepped into the hospital the minute one of the older nurses led her into my ward – the children's ward. Her scent flooded my nostrils next – she noticed me at the same time, it seemed, because her gaze caught mine and for a fleeting moment, she faltered. She hadn't known I was here.

It was only later that Alice finally approached.

"I didn't know you were here. Now it seems we're working together, boss." She murmured as she dashed over to help me with a patient.

I didn't say anything, and Alice gave a soft, unneeded sigh, amber eyes flickering back up to me as I continued to work silently. The little boy between us was asleep, giving us room to speak freely. Well, Alice room to speak freely, since I wasn't talking to her. She had left just like Carlisle had.

"Esme, I know you're still upset. Don't be angry with me – it wasn't my fault."

"Then tell me where he is." My voice was terse, nothing but a harsh whisper. Alice gave a frown, pausing in her work to stare at the ground.

"I don't know. He left us too, Esme. I don't know why, either. I just remember seeing him meeting with the Volturi . . .and that's never good. I can't see him anymore – I don't really try, to be honest. If he wants to come back, he will." She shrugged. "So please don't blame us. I'm just glad to see you. I'm sure Jasper will be thrilled when he hears." She gave a small smile, literally bouncing in place. "I hope we're rooming together in the nurses dorms!"

I shushed her, afraid she might wake up the other children in the ward – it was nearly the dead of night, and only a few nurses remained on duty. I only went off duty when I was required, so I could 'get some rest'.

"He left without even saying goodbye . . . ." I murmured, looking toward Alice sharply. "I've had my heart shattered twice, Alice – did he even realize what that did to me?"

"Yes." She answered simply. "He caught up with us on our hunting trip, and looked . . .well, broken. It was terrible. Leaving you hurt him too, but he doesn't want to see you hurt. The Volturi aren't kind, and would be willing to harm you to get to him."

"What is this Volturi you keep talking about?"

"Leaders of our kind, naturally. They live in Italy – Carlisle lived with them for some time in the 1600s," She paused as we passed a couple of nurses coming in to take our places on duty now. She waited until they had long passed before continuing. "They're upset that we were with him. They enjoy collecting people like Edward and I, with the exceptional gifts that could help them contain any vampire or human who dared defy them." She continued to explain.

So these freaks had been the 'friends' he had been talking about who'd been angry with him. The ones willing to hurt me, and would hurt me. I shook my head. So he'd had a genuine reason for leaving, but that still didn't stop me from being angry with him.

"He's sorry, Esme." Alice continued, threading her arm through mine as we stepped into the warm summer air. Thunder rumbled somewhere overhead, and I knew we'd be getting more storms tonight. "He wanted to come back the minute he left, but he can't. He's just trying to protect you."

"I don't need protecting. I can handle myself. I have since he left – I could have with or without him." I muttered in return and Alice let out a musical laugh.

"I've kept an eye on you, I know."

"Did you start working here because I did?" I inquired and she gave a tell-tale smile.

"Partially the reason, yes. I think its time we get to know each other better." She gave a knowing smile. "I get the feeling we'll be around each other a long time yet."

I couldn't help but smile - her mood was infectious. At least, I thought so , until I saw Jasper standing in the corner of the lobby. He wouldn't be allowed to stay in the nurses' dorms, but I knew he'd come to see Alice.

"Hello, ma'am." He greeted with a smile of his own. "Good to see you again."

"Always a pleasure." I returned his smile.

At least I would be able to enjoy some familiar company, long enough to take my mind off of Carlisle for the time being.

Alice was the perfect nurse – she worked quickly and quietly like I did, and was just as natural around the children as I was. She took orders fairly well, and was more than happy to work under me – although, I treated her more as a partner than any of my other nurses, because Alice could keep up. She seemed to enjoy it just as much as I did too. I reminded myself to ask her where she had gained her passion for nursing – or when, rather – sometime later when we returned to the nurses dorms.

Part of me detested being assigned to the children's ward, for the simple fact of the number of children that kept dying. We kept them out in the sunshine on the roof for long periods of time, but we had no medicine to cure the white plague just yet. We had to do the best with what we had and while it worked well for some, others it did no good.

It was a few days after Alice showed up that I got the feeling of being watched again.

It was the middle of the night, and Alice was working night shift. I sat in the nurses dorms, writing silently in my journal about the days events. The feeling crept over me, my hair standing on end. I tossed my journal aside and got to my feet, silent as I moved out of the room Alice and I shared. Others were asleep, so I crept quietly toward the stairs that led up to the roof. Something was telling me I needed to go there.

Thunder rumbled overhead and the wind whipped my hair wildly about, but I didn't care.

"I know you're there." I said to the empty air when I reached the rooftop. I got no reply in return, even if I half expected one. I looked around, trying to sense any sort of movement.

"Just come out!" My voice inched louder and higher. "I'm not helpless, I can protect myself if that's what you're worried about! Just come back . . . ." It was a moment of weakness that allowed the words to filter out, uncensored. My body physically ached for Carlisle, ached for his smooth touch. I'd give anything for him.

"Please . . . ." My words were barely above a whisper, carried away by the wind. The feeling of being watched was gone now, and I knew he was gone – if he had even been there at all. Maybe I was going crazy. Could vampires go crazy? I wasn't sure, but perhaps I was living proof.

But it was Carlisle that was driving me crazy. I would never admit it, but I missed him to the point it physically hurt, to the point where I would kill myself if it meant seeing him again. I was angry at him for leaving in the first place, yes, but I could easily forgive him if he chose to come back and never leave again.

I was more than willing to forget and forgive. It was my nature.

The next morning, I went into shift – or I had planned to, until the receptionist in the lobby caught me.

"Oh! Esme! There's someone here to see you. They're waiting just in there." She nodded toward the waiting room, I frowned, wondering who could possibly be there for me. Nonetheless, I nodded politely and headed into the room around the corner.

I knew instantly who was there for me, but I had never seen them before in my life. They were the only ones in the room, after all.

They were vampires dressed in civilian clothing, with long golden chains hanging from around their neck, but whatever was on the end of the chains was tucked beneath their jackets. There were three of them, one a little girl who appeared no older than fourteen with striking white-blonde hair. Beside her appeared to be a boy around her same age with dark brown hair. On the other side of the girl was a taller man, this one with dark brown hair as well.

Upon my entrance, their gaze fell on me. I saw with a start that their eyes were a dark red in color, compared to my pale golden.

"Hello, Ms. Platt." The blonde child greeted, getting to her feet.

"Hello." My voice did little to hide my confusion and slight worry. "Can I help you?"

"We've heard much about you." She continued, seemingly ignoring my question. "My name is Jane. This is Alec, and Felix." She introduced them, but they did not move except to get to their feet and approach me like she had.

"Pleasure. Now can you tell me why you're here? I do have a shift in fifteen minutes."

"We believe you may be key in helping us."

"Helping you with what?"

"Esme!"

I turned, not surprised to see Alice lingering in the doorway with Jasper at her side. Alice stalked over to me, Jasper in tow.

"You're not going to touch her." Alice seethed, and I had never heard her voice so dark. "She cannot help you in harming Carlisle. He no longer loves her."

I flinched, then frowned. So were these the 'friends' that had been talked about? The Volturi?

"Her engagement ring says different." She nodded toward the hand where I still wore it.

"Because I haven't thrown it away yet. He left me, and I want nothing to do with him." I tried to make my voice sound full of hatred, and surprisingly, it wasn't hard – I just had to think about the part of me that was angry at him.

"You're not welcome here." Jasper put in. "So leave. Go back to Italy. There is nothing for you here."

"We'll see about that." Jane mused, but she did not smirk or smile. She stared straight at me for a long moment, and for the first time, I wanted to cause bodily harm to a child. Even if she was a vampire.

"Let's go, Jane." Alec muttered. "Later."

I watched as they brushed past us and left without another word. Well, that had certainly been odd.

"Never speak to them, Esme. They can do terrible things to you, especially Jane. I'd enlighten you, but we have shift in ten minutes and we have to get upstairs." Alice's words flowed together and I could only nodded, still slightly on edge after that little conversation. Carlisle hadn't been lying in saying they would come after me to harm him.

The way Jane had spoken her last words unnerved me a bit, and the way Alec had said 'later'. Did that mean they would come back?

I surely hoped not.

_**Another quick chapter. I don't like this one either. Next one should be a bit better, and if all goes well, Carlisle will be at the end.**_


	9. Chapter 9

I pulled my hair down from the messy bun I had thrown it back in on my back to the nurses dorms. It was the middle of the night and there were a pair of other nurses who had just gotten off duty walking ahead of me. I lingered behind, as always, glancing around for any sign of the Volturi. Or Carlisle. Or anyone else, for that matter.

I never saw anyone.

At least, not until that particular night.

Halfway back to the dorms, I realized I had been walking so slow, i was now alone, the pair of nurses ahead of me long gone, probably already crawling into their beds. I didn't mind - I found the quiet soothing, and for a moment, I relaxed.

Then I smelled them.

The scents were familiar - the little girl and her twin, from the Volturi, as well as the taller one - Felix.

"Esme." Jane's voice sounded and I turned to find her standing on the path behind me, flanked by two cloaked figures. She was cloaked as well, their civilian clothing long forgotten. I stiffened, hands clenching into tight fists.

"What do you want?" I asked, probably a little too harshly - but I didn't care. The last thing I needed was to have to deal with them right then.

"You're to come with us. My master has a plan for you."

"Well, you can tell your master I have no desires to meet him, nor go with you anywhere." I replied. Jane bristled, eyes growing dark.

"It's not a choice."

"I said 'no'." I stated firmly, folding my arms across my chest. Jane's eyes were practically blazing.

The next thing I knew, I had the worst pain imaginable running through my body. I had fallen tot he ground, and for a moment I tried to figure out who was screaming - until I realized it was me. The pain was worse than that of being changed into a vampire. I bit down on my tongue, trying not to scream, knowing it would only wake the others within the dorms and quite possibly get them killed. The little girl had some sort of freak power like Edward and Alice and Jasper did - causing intense amounts of pain, judging by the way I felt.

"Are you ready to come with us yet?" I heard her ask.

" . . . no!" I ground out between clenched teeth, and the pain suddenly intensified ten fold. My back arched, body convulsing entirely on its own, leaving me with no control over myself.

"Stop." Another voice said, but the pain continued to come. I twisted, trying to somehow throw off the pain, but it didn't stop and I was left thrashing on the ground like a rag doll, letting the pain consume me. Hot venom tears of rage and pain rolled down and off my cheeks. Oh God, I felt like dying. I _knew_ I was dying The pain was too terrible for me not to be.

I heard someone scream, and someone call my name. A blur of other sounds joined the fray, and all at once, the pain disappeared. Thin pale arms wrapped around me and lifted me up - it took me a moment to realize it was Alice. I looked around - Jasper had Alec pinned to the ground and Jane was nothing but a crumbled heap on the ground. Felix was glaring at the other figure who had bent into a crouch in front of Alice and I.

With a start, I realized it was Carlisle.

And then I smelled the humans. I turned, and knew instantly where the screaming had come from - the pair of nurses who had been walking ahead of me had now returned, and were watching the sight with horrified expressions.

"Take her, Carlisle. Go, now. We'll meet up with you later." Alice whispered furiously as she pushed me toward Carlisle, who sprung out of his crouch to grab me. The next minute he was carrying me across the field, away from the madness - which was good, because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to run after the terror I had just experienced.

He stopped a ways into the trees, finally setting me back down on my own two feet.

The minute I regained my resolve, I slapped him. The resounding sound was like two rocks colliding together. He flinched, shutting his eyes.

"Esme, I -."

"Don't." I cut him off. He was going to let me rant first. "Do you know - do you even understand how much it hurt me when you left? Did you even think I might be safer with you?" I began, anger boiling beneath the surface of my skin. I didn't raise my voice - I didn't have the heart too - but that didn't stop me from ranting at him. "You left me so broken and shattered that for a while, I just wanted to die. It took me until about a year ago to get myself together and finally trust people again. You broke me emotionally in the same way Charles broke me physically." I knew it was a low bow - he flinched again. "And it _hurt_, Carlisle. So. Much."

I pausing, taking deep, unneeded breaths. It was then I noticed his stance - his shoulders lumped, face almost ghostly looking; he was a broken man. Apparently leaving me had broken him too.

"I never really left." He said after a long moment, voice quiet. "You didn't think I'd leave you completely unprotected, did you? Especially as a newborn. I couldn't bring myself to leave you complete. You knew someone was following you - you just never figured out who. It was me."

So he had been the lingering presence everywhere I had went. He'd never left me, really.

"You could have came back sooner."

"I didn't want you in danger."

My anger was fading quickly. It was impossible to stay angry at Carlisle for very long.

"Don't," I began slowly. "ever think about doing that to me again."

"Yes ma'am." He murmured and I pulled him straight into a kiss. Years of built up emotion into that single kiss that he seemed to return with the same amount of vigor. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer, even lifting me several inches off the ground. It was a while before either of us pulled away, but when we did, my fingers wrapped their way into his shirt, afraid if I let go he might somehow disappear again.

"I love you." He murmured, pressing his forehead against mine. I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his scent.

"I love you too. I always have, and always will." I replied. "Just don't leave me again. Please."

"Believe me, I won't."

He held me for a long while until he pulled away, seemingly disgusted about something.

"Now we're in even more danger because I couldn't keep my temper." He muttered darkly. "Those two nurses saw me attack Jane and rip a chunk of flesh out of her arm. They saw what was happening to you. They saw Alice and Jasper move too quickly for normal human beings to take down Alec and to help you."

"Then we'll run. Together. Away from them." I said firmly, resting my hand against his cheek.

"It's not that easy, Esme. I've barely managed to evade them this long. They're probably going to go and find Rosalie, Emmett, Bella, and Edward. I don't know where they are, but the Volturi will go to them hoping they'll know where to find us."

"We won't let it get to that. We can stay safe from them. We've got the entire world." I insisted.

"They've got the entire world wrapped around their fingers."

He released me and walked over to a fallen log, sitting down. I hesitated a moment before joining him.

"We'll make it." I murmured, placing my hand on his arm. His fingers found mine and he brought my hand to his lips to kiss my knuckles.

"I've missed you."

I smiled.

"I've missed you too. I've missed this - just spending time with you."

He gave a nod, running his thumb across the engagement ring I still wore.

"You found it. You kept it." He sounded almost surprised as I nodded this time.

"Of course I did." I rested my head on his shoulder, simply taking in his scent again. It was nice, familiar, and it felt amazing just to be around him again. My body ached with the need to just keep touching him, making sure he wasn't going to disappear again anytime soon.

"After this is all over, I promise we're going to get married. It'll be everything you ever wanted. I want to give you a family, Esme."

I could only smile brilliantly, as Alice and Jasper's scent filled the area. They appeared a moment later in the clearing Carlisle and I had found, joining us.

"The two nurses went to the hospital to call the police. The Volturi will know by tomorrow morning when Felix and Alex return with Jane injured like that." Alice rattled off instantly. "We have to split up."

"No." Carlisle said quietly. "Four of use together makes it easier to fight them off if they find us."

"Traveling together could make it easier for them to find us." Jasper pointed out. I shook my head.

"Not if we keep moving." I replied. "We need to stay together. Maybe we can find the others and warn them about the Volturi before the Volturi find them." I suggested. Everyone looked at each other and seemed to finally agree on it. Carlisle got to his feet and pulled me up with him, giving another short nod.

"Let's go, then, before someone finds us."

. . .

We left the east coast behind and moved north, dancing along the border of Canada and only staying a few weeks in each town. We finally found a small town in Minnesota to stay in for a few months, so we bought a small house with enough room for the four of us at the outskirts of town. We kept to ourselves, of course, hardly going out. Carlisle and I didn't feel the need to apply at the hospital, knowing at any time we would have to move again.

I was laying on the couch in the living room three months after we had bought it when Carlisle returned from hunting with Jasper - Alice and I had gone yesterday. I moved my feet so he could sit down, before I put my legs in his lap. I noticed his eyes were several shades lighter than when he had left.

"Well, it's been four months and we've yet to hear a word out of the Volturi. I think we should try to find Edward and the others." I murmured, shifting so that my back rested against the armrest of the couch.

"Alice has been keeping track of them through her visions. They're staying with the Denali clan in Alaska." Carlisle said and I frowned.

"Denali?"

"They're a group like us - they share our same diet. A group of sisters that I met when I was traveling. We've stayed with them before."

"Perhaps we should go there then. Stay for a while. The Volturi won't think to look there for a while. Maybe they've even already checked there, and we'd be safe for a bit." I was rambling now. Carlisle's fingers trailed along my legs. "That tickles."

"Does it?" He inquired, continuing to do it. I tried to pull my leg away, but his grip was like iron - he was stronger than I was, now that I was no longer a newborn.

"So I was thinking," He began, ignoring the fact that I was trying to squirm away from his tickling touch. "That we should get married this year. On Christmas Eve. If we end up going to Denali, we can have it there."

"Why . . . Christmas Eve?" I inquired as I continued to try to pull away. Christmas was in roughly a month.

Eventually I gave it up trying to get away and sat up, glaring at him.

"I want to give you a family for Christmas. You can wake up - figuratively - Christmas morning with a family, as my wife."

I paused in trying to squirm away, looking at him. He sure knew how to distract me. That idea couldn't have sounded more perfect or beautiful, and I loved it. I'd always wanted to have a winter wedding - my marriage to Charles had been in the summer - and now I would get one, and on Christmas Eve too. It would be the best present Carlisle could have ever given me.

"That sounds amazing." I smiled. "More than amazing."

He chuckled and leaned forward to kiss me. "Thought you'd like it."

His touch on my legs inched higher toward my sides, where he knew I was ticklish.

"No . . . Carlisle! _Don't_!"

My protests did no good, for I was already at the mercy of his hands.

"I hate to interrupt," Alice began as she appeared at the top of the stairs, speaking in a voice that told me she was more than happy to interrupt. Carlisle finally relented and I sat up, shaking my head at him. "But shall I inform Tanya that we'll be there in two weeks?"

"Two weeks?" Carlisle asked and Alice tapped her temple with a knowing smile. "Yes, that's fine. Go ahead and tell her. Make sure it's okay we come to stay for a while, and explain the circumstances very clearly, Alice. I don't want to put them in danger they're not aware of."

"Of course." She sang, still smiling. "I'll tell her to start getting ideas in mind for a wedding too." She added, before she disappeared again. I laughed.

"Thank you Alice!" Carlisle called after her before he turned his attention back to me. "So, future Mrs. Cullen - how shall we spend the rest of our day?"

"Packing." I murmured as he leaned back over and kissed me. "But for some reason I don't see that happening. Let's try hunting. Several miles away. Alone together."

He smirked. "I like your thinking."

Running so much seemed to drain me mentally, so when we reached Denali, I wasn't in a pleasant mood. Seeing how pretty Tanya and her sisters were - and knowing Carlisle had spent time with them before - sent me into a worse mood, but I tried to play nice.

I swept Edward into a tight hug, as he was one of the ones to meet us outside - everyone was outside, except the one sister Irina and Rosalie. I was introduced to Tanya, Carmen, Eleazer, and Kate, all who welcomed me with open arms.

"Esme, it's a pleasure to meet you." Tanya greeted, pulling me into a hug as well. I returned it briefly - I figured I'd better play nice if I was going to be living with them for a while. "Congratulations to you and Carlisle on your engagement Alice has me practically buzzing with all this planning."

"Thank you for letting us stay with you." I replied. She smiled brilliantly.

"Of course." She looked over at Carlisle. "You wouldn't mind terribly if I stole your fiancé away for a moment, would you?"

"Don't be long." Carlisle murmured, pressing a kiss against my temple. I gave him an almost pleading look, but he didn't seem to notice before Tanya pulled me into the house. She could have at least asked me.

I didn't have time to really look around the house - I just knew it was designed to look like a modern, and very large log cabin, with wide windows in the living room that looked out across the snowy landscape. I was pulled upstairs before I saw anything more than that.

I expected her to take me into some room, but instead we kept going up, up into the attic.

I wasn't surprised to find Alice already there, practically bouncing.

"We wanted to get you away while Carlisle was distracted." Alice said with a grin, striding toward one of the old boxes in the corner. The logo on the box was vaguely familiar. "Because he can't see this. Not until Christmas Eve. And you've got to promise not to tell him about it. I've tried very hard to keep it hidden. Tanya, Bella, and Carmen picked it out a few days ago." She was talking so fast, even I had trouble understanding half of what she was saying.

Tanya held the box and Alice pulled out something long and white. I realized it was a wedding dress as it unraveled and went to the floor. She held it up so I could see it.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I had never really kept up with fashion, but I had to assume this dress was one of the latest - otherwise Alice probably would have never let me wear it. It looked delicate in every possible way - it made me afraid to even touch it, as I figured it would simply crumble at my touch. It was the type of dress I never would have normally wore - mainly because of how low the neckline dipped. I was glad it had the capped sleeves it did.

"Alice, it's gorgeous." I whispered and she held it out to me. After a fleeting moment I took it - it felt just as soft and delicate as I imagined it would be.

"Well, try it on!" Tanya encouraged with a grin. "We have to make sure it fits."

"If it doesn't now, it will. Carlisle's going to love it." Alice assured me as she and Tanya turned their backs, leaving me no choice but to change into it.

"So you've already seen us getting married?" I asked as I peeled off the clothes I had changed into before we had began to run toward Denali. They were dirty and slightly damp - I would be glad to change into something else later.

"Of course. I know for a fact you're going to look beautiful, and you're going to wear the necklace Carlisle got you for Christmas." She chimed. Of course I was - I had planned on wearing it.

Alice whirled around just as I got the dress on and she smiled.

"Perfect!"

As I twirled per Alice's instructions, I realized then that I was actually going to get married in a little less than two weeks. To Carlisle. It seemed a little surreal that we had been engaged this long - the Civil War seemed so far behind me now. I still remembered every detail of my time as a Civil War nurse though, especially in the days that I had known Carlisle.

The full weight of the fact that I was getting married seemed to hit me just then, like a tidal wave crashing into me. I reached out to steady myself and Alice grabbed my hand, Tanya stepping forward as well. The pair of them smiled knowingly.

"It's going to be wonderful. You're going to be fine." Alice assured, and Tanya nodded.

"Jasper may have to help me a bit." I said with a meager smile. "I don't know if I can do this without having a nervous breakdown."

"Esme, you love Carlisle. You've been here not even for an hour and I can tell." Tanya said. "And he loves you just as much in return. You shouldn't be nervous."

"Considering how much of a train wreck my last marriage was?"

"That's in the past. The far past." Alice said and knelt, fixing something along the hem of the dress as it trailed along the floor. "This is now. Carlisle is the future. You can't think about the past."

"It's hard." I insisted.

"We know." Tanya smiled. "But these two weeks will fly by."

"That's part of what makes me nervous."

"Well, don't be." Alice said and began to tug the wedding dress off. "Now come on. We've got a lot of planning to do."

Some how I managed to escape Alice's clutches a few hours later, and the sounds of laughter and voices drew me outside, into the back of the house. Irina and Rosalie stood on the corner of the deck, talking to one another softly. Everyone else was down below in the yard, engaging in what I had to assume was a very intense snowball fight.

It took me a minute to figure out who was on what team - only when they rushed back to the piles of snow that had apparently been constructed as forts did I realize who was on what side. Jasper, Edward, and Eleazer made up one team - who's fort looked like it could use some work. On the other side was Emmett, Kate, Carmen, and Carlisle - their fort looked like it could probably withstand a nuclear bombing. I wondered for a fleeting moment where Bella was - until I remembered she had been drawn into planning my wedding with Alice and Tanya.

I turned to go back inside, but a snowball hit my back. I had the strangest sense of déjà vu, remembering when Carlisle had thrown the snowball at my back to grab my attention when we had started to sneak off to see each other back in the war.

I turned.

Not surprising, Carlisle smiled innocently up at me.

"You're not gonna take that, are you Esme?" Eleazer called and I debated a moment before I shook my head. Within seconds I had jumped off the deck and into the snow below, striding toward him, Edward, and Jasper, making my alliances clear as I joined the snow war.

"You're going to pay for that one, Carlisle!"

**Sort of a filler chapter I suppose. But next chapter will be the wedding - and of course, bad things have to happen again. **

**Oh, and if you look on my profile page, you'll find a link to something you may enjoy XD.**


	10. Chapter 10

I didn't know how humans could possibly handle the stress of getting married - I could barely handle it myself. Despite assurances from Alice, Tanya, and Kate, I was still nervous. My anticipation and excitement mingled in and three hours before I was to be married, I was more than ready to have a minor breakdown.

I escaped from Alice's clutches and very carefully worked my way downstairs barefoot, my wedding dress bunched up in my hands so I wouldn't trip on my face. Carlisle had been all but banished to the first floor of the house to prevent seeing me - a tradition Alice was insistent on - so I was going to seek him out.

I followed his scent - and the voices - toward the study. They silenced when they caught a whiff of my scent and I paused outside the door, just as Eleazer opened it. It was only a crack, but he slipped out of it and shut the door before whoever else was inside could see me.

"I need to talk to Carlisle." I said quietly.

"Can't let you do that. Alice's orders." He flashed a grin.

"Well, he can stay in that room and I'll stay out here. Or we'll write notes. Something. I just need to talk to him. Please."

Eleazer seemed to be debating it for a moment, but he gave another smile, giving in.

"You know I can't refuse a pretty lady." He murmured and I distinctly heard a growl come from within the room, followed by several stifled laughs. I shook my head.

"Thank you."

He disappeared inside the room. A moment later he returned with Edward, Jasper, Carmen, Irina, and Emmett in tow. Giving me a sly wink, he ushered them all into another room.

"So, I've been told not to open this door on pain of death, yet you need to speak with me?" Carlisle sounded confused - it was endearing, really. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, everything's fine, it's just . . . I wanted to talk to you." I leaned against the door.

"About what?"

_About everything. _I was marrying him in three hours, and I wanted answers. I had forgiven him so easily when he had come back because I'd been so relieved to see him. Now that it was going to be official that we would permanently be together, I wanted my questions listened to and answered.

"Why did you leave?" I asked in the tiniest voice possible, shutting my eyes for a moment. He appeared to hesitate.

"I thought I already answered that, Esme." He spoke as quietly as I did. "I left to protect you."

"That's not the entire reason. You're smarter than that, Carlisle. You knew that leaving would put me in danger more than you being around me." I pressed, staring at the wall across from me now, my back against the door. My hands tangled in the fabric of my dress, kneading it nervously.

"Because I had to do something. I had always planned on coming back, but when I found you in the north, I saw that you had moved on."

"I never moved on. I put on a happy face so I could fit in with the people in the towns. Inside - I was completely shattered. I was trying to piece myself back together again." I whispered quietly.

"I followed you anyway. I didn't want you to come to harm." He continued as if I hadn't interrupted. I felt his weight leaning against the door now.

"You could have come back. You could have let me know you were there."

"I was afraid of how much you would hate me for leaving in the first place." He muttered, which was reasonable. I had hated him for a while. Then I had begun to realize something might have happened to him, and my anger soon turned into worry.

There was silence between us for a long moment, until he spoke again.

"You're not going to ask me what I left to do?"

"If it's something that required you to leave me to do it, I'm not sure I want to know." I admitted, sliding down the door now so that I was sitting on the ground, legs stretched out in front of me, my wedding dress spread all around in a pool of white material.

Carlisle remained silent for a moment longer before speaking again.

"I went to your parents."

I went still, staring intently at the wall across from me without really seeing it.

"They're supposed to be dead." I whispered.

"They're in their eighties now." He spoke. "At least, I assumed. They could be older."

"Why?"

"To apologize to them."

My fingers curled tighter into my dress - I realized what I was doing and instead curled my fingers into the carpet so I didn't rip my dress. Carlisle was the only person I knew who would go to my parents to apologize.

"I didn't want you to know I'd gone. It was an odd situation - I apologized that I had taken you away from them. They didn't seem to understand, until I told them that you were still alive. Your death had been faked. They got angry at me then, and I apologized again - they begged me to let them see you, but I knew I couldn't. Your father actually tried to forbid me from seeing you at one point in the conversation because he knew that I was still with you - being the traditional type of person I am, I half listened to him because I was foolish enough to believe him when he said that I was a dangerous man. He didn't even know the half of it." He sighed heavily, taking in an unneeded breath at that point. "I was an idiot for believing he could stop me from seeing you, but once he mentioned it, I knew I had done the right thing in leaving. The longer I thought about it, the more I began to realize that the Volturi was after me, not you."

Silence once again fell between us as I tried to process what he said. Things were still a bit muddled, but now I understood more of his reasoning. I slipped my fingers between the gap at the bottom of the door and the floor - I felt his weight shift toward the bottom of the door, and his fingers found mine.

"Why me? All I did was help your son - who didn't even need help, now that I think about it."

"Vampires form strong bonds, Esme. Once we fall in love, we don't fall out. When I saw you, I knew I wouldn't ever be able to forget you. It'd an odd thing, the bonds our kind form - it's very, very hard to break them. After the war was over, I had intended to seek you out, but you came to me." He continued, and I could practically see the smile on his face. "For a while, I thought you were some angel. Sent to help me fix the mere existence of a life I had, and try to fix my eternally damned soul."

"You're not damned, Carlisle. You're much too kind and caring."

"I don't have a soul."

"Yes, you do. We all do. We just have new, shiny, hard bodies to protect our souls so they don't get broken." I murmured softly.

"You ask why I picked you - because you are different, Esme. I'd never met a person who cared for people in the way that you do, whose life mirrored yours. You're one of a kind, and I knew from the moment I met you that somehow we'd end up together, merely because of the strong draw I felt to you. Your blood practically sang to me - never before had I wanted so badly to break my control. I couldn't have stopped myself from falling in love with you even if I wanted to. I still wonder what exactly I did to deserve you."

"Fate works in mysterious ways." I murmured. "I never told you this, but I was going to ask you to change me. Had I not been injured - I'd planned to ask you. I'd realized I had no desire to live my life without you in it. For eternity."

"I wouldn't have done it. To purposefully damn you to this life - it's not something I would wish on my greatest enemy. I suppose it was fate that decided to take matters into its own hands - when you were shot, I knew somewhere in my mind I would have to change you eventually, that you wouldn't recover from an injury like that."

Part of me realized that if Charles wasn't such an idiot, I wouldn't be there right then, about to be married to the love of my life. I almost wanted to thank him - but one good deed didn't make up for a life of wrongness.

"Here."

Something hit the bottom of the door and I moved the fabric of my dress out of the way to see that he was pressing a box through the gap now.

"I had Alice order it and I was going to wait until later to give it to you, but I think you should wear it now."

I took the box and pulled the purple ribbon off of it, setting that aside as I opened the box.

It was a bracelet. It was mostly silver, with intricate designs made to wrap around the wrist. On the top was the black and silver crest I had seen on Carlisle's ring - and Alice and Rosalie's necklaces, and the boys' wristbands. I had always meant to ask what it meant, but had never gotten around to it.

"It's the family crest. All of us wear it in some form. I thought you might prefer a bracelet." He explained.

I was about to become one of the Cullens, and this proved it.

I pulled the bracelet out of its box and slid it onto my wrist, where it fit perfectly.

"It's beautiful. Thank you." I murmured, smiling to myself now.

"I suppose you should be getting back upstairs. Alice will come looking for you." He said and I gave a nervous laugh.

"Probably." I got to my feet, smoothing the wrinkles from my dress. I leaned back against the door. "I'll see you in a few hours?"

"It's a date."

"Love you." I smiled. I loved the freedom I had to tell him that.

"Love you too, now and forever."

Alice and Tanya continued their assault on my appearance the second I returned upstairs. I tried to distract myself with the snow falling outside of the window of Tanya's room, and the beautiful white landscape outside. I had gone hunting in it yesterday - Alaska was beautiful in the winter, at least, to me. I'd always loved snow. The fact that it was Christmas Eve made it even better - as well as the fact it was my wedding day.

That thought brought back my nerves.

It was the early evening hours when Alice finally finished with me, and Edward came knocking. I sat very still in my seat at Tanya's vanity, trying hard to take my gaze off the creature reflected in the mirror. Carlisle's necklace hung around my neck, ending a few inches above where my dress began. My hair had been pulled back with a diamond headband I had seen Alice wear once.

Somehow, with a few simple things, Alice had made me look like the angel Carlisle believed me to be.

"You look beautiful, Esme."

I smiled. "Thank you, Edward. It's all Alice and Tanya's doing, of course." I shot them a look. "You look rather dashing in your tux as well."

He chuckled as I got to my feet and moved toward him. He drew me into a hug, and then noticed the bracelet on my wrist. He gave a knowing smirk.

"We'll head downstairs now." Tanya said and ushered Alice from the room, the pair of them practically bouncing. I wished I had their energy.

"Ready, mom?" A breath hitched in my throat when Edward called me that, and I suddenly had the biggest smile on my face. Just being called 'mom' felt . . . right. I knew I couldn't have children, and I knew Edward and his siblings would be the closest I would ever be to having children. It felt wonderful.

He mirrored my smile as I nodded and he held out his arm, which I took. I grabbed the flowers Alice had laid out for me on Tanya's bed with my other hand, and together, Edward and I walked out the door.

Stairs seemed much more dangerous in heels and a long dress, even for a vampire. I managed to make it down them without harming myself or Edward, so I considered that a tiny accomplishment as we stepped into the living room.

"Ready?" Edward asked again as we walked toward the back of the house - we were having the wedding on the deck, in the snow - Alice's idea, naturally.

"As I'll ever be." I whispered.

We stepped onto the deck.

Alice had turned the place into a winter wonderland of sorts, with white ribbons and flowers everywhere along the railing of the deck, and on the backs of the few chairs out there. Added with the snow, the overall effect was utterly gorgeous.

Carlisle's dazzling gaze met mine - he looked handsome as ever in the suit Alice had picked out for him. He smiled at me and all my nervousness fled - although, that could have been thanks to Jasper as well. When I chanced a glance at him, he looked away innocently.

Beside Carlisle was Emmett, just as Alice moved to stand beside me when I reached Carlisle. Edward placed a kiss on my cheek after flipping my veil out of my face, and Carlisle's hand found mine. We turned toward Eleazer - who had so graciously volunteered to stand in as priest.

I didn't hear half of what he was saying because my attention was on Carlisle the entire time. My gaze never left his, and it took me a moment to realize my hands were shaking slightly. Carlisle curled his fingers tighter around mine reassuringly.

"Carlisle Andrew Cullen, do you take Esme Anne Platt to be your wife, through the good and the bad, through the thick and the thin, during the good hunting and bad, during fights over what color to paint the living room, during those times when humans start to get suspicious through arguments with the kids, through arguments with the kids when you're trying to get them out of the house when you want to be alone together, and during whatever else the future made hold, for all eternity and beyond?"

I was sure if I were human, I would have been bright red. Across from me, Carlisle was trying hard to be serious - leave it to Eleazer to deviate from the vows Alice had given him to read.

"I do." Carlisle's voice wavered as he tried to hold back his laughter. I could only shake my head, watching as Carlisle grabbed one of the silver rings Carmen held out to him, sliding it on my finger.

"Esme Anne Platt, do you take Carlisle Andrew Cullen through and during all those things I just said?"

I nearly lost it again - Carlisle actually snorted that time.

"I do." I took the other ring and slid it onto his finger.

"Then, by the powers vested in me as of two days ago, I now pronounce you man and wife. Dr. Cullen, you may kiss your giggling bride."

I was giggling uncontrollably when Carlisle swept me into a kiss. The others cheered us on, of course, led by Emmett.

We were led back inside, where Alice had put on music. Carlisle instantly swept me up into a dance in the middle of the living room.

"You look beautiful, Mrs. Cullen." He murmured, twirling me. I smiled at the name, pleased at the way it sounded.

"You don't clean up so bad yourself, Mr. Cullen."

He smirked, never taking his gaze away from mine as we danced to the vaguely familiar tune Alice had found on the radio. As we danced and I looked at all the faces around us, watching us, I realized I now had the family I'd always wanted. Carlisle had given me the one thing I'd always thought impossible - with Charles, I'd never expected to have children. Even after I'd thought he died, I knew it would be hard for me to get married again. I'd considered adopting, but I hadn't had the chance before I'd run into Jasper and as a result, his ever-so-handsome father who was now my husband. It felt almost odd to call Carlisle my husband after so long, but I loved the feeling it gave me.

The song took more of an upbeat tone and Carlisle spun me around again – the others joined us in dancing now, swirling around us. I ignored them though, most of my attention on my husband. He was a smooth dancer, and easily kept in time with the songs as they changed. I found Edward could dance just as smoothly, as I danced with him next, and then Eleazer – who once again deemed it fit to tease me. I could only shake my head with a half smile on my face, my gaze continuing to follow Carlisle as he danced with Tanya.

Dark fell soon after, and before I could realize what had happened, Alice pulled me upstairs to help me change. Carlisle and I were only going to be gone for a week on our honeymoon – which I still had no idea where it was – and then we'd come back and he'd undoubtedly face the Volturi.

Alice hung my dress on the back of my door, handing me another one, this one a pale purple dress with matching flats. She pulled down my hair and arranged it again – it ceased to amaze me how quickly she could make someone go from look to look, even as a vampire.

I joined the others back downstairs to say goodbyes, and to tell them to stay out of trouble while we were gone. I was afraid of leaving them alone because of the Volturi, but they had insisted they would be fine – I knew Carlisle was uneasy to leave too, but in the end we were all but shoved out of the door.

. . .

"Are we almost there?" I inquired for the third time, unable to see any of my surroundings. I vaguely remembered the soft engine hum of a boat – but we had evidentially stepped out of it a bit ago, because now I could feel warm wood beneath my feet. The sun was up, just barely – I could she our skin glittering through the blindfold, but yet my surroundings were still shrouded.

"Hang on one minute." He promised, and not a minute later I felt my blindfold drop and my eyes opened.

I was greeted by the dazzling sunlight.

Carlisle and I stood on a set of docks, that ended at a long, seemingly endless strip of white sand that seemed to glitter like our skin. Farther away began a set of wooden stairs that led up onto the deck of a house - which looked utterly gorgeous, with large windows that let equally large amounts of sun in.

"It's beautiful." I whispered, glancing over at Carlisle with a wife smile on my face. "I love it."

"Thought you might." He mused. "It's why I bought it for you."

_Wait, what?_

"Carlisle, you didn't."

"I distinctly remember you telling me once that the sun was what you would miss the most - so I did the best I could. I figured it might be a nice getaway for us in the future as well." He wrapped an arm around my waist.

"An _island_. You bought me an _island_."

"Even has your name on it." He smirked. "Isle Esme."

I was still trying to get over the fact he had bought me an island. I wasn't aware his extreme kindness extended to buying extremely thoughtful and expensive gifts as well. But an island - good Lord. It was beautiful though, and it was clear he had been thinking directly of me when picking the island.

"Do you want to see the rest of it?"

I nodded and he led me across the beach. I kicked off my shoes the second I hit the sand, smiling at the feeling of the sand between my toes. It was a strong contrast to the snow and cold in Alaska we had left behind.

Carlisle suddenly scooped me up and I laughed, throwing my arms around his neck as he proceeded to carry me into the house.

The house, just like the island, was utterly gorgeous. Windows covered most of the walls, giving a view of the ocean and the trees that lay more inland. Everything was in white or light colors, from the kitchen to the bathroom to the bedrooms - of which there were three, including the white room and the blue room. I preferred the white one, and set the small suitcase I had brought down near the wall.

"It's beautiful here." I said, striding toward the balcony doors that led out onto the deck. The wood was warm to my touch.

"There are people who will come in when we're not here and keep everything clean for us. They even stocked the cabinets with food."

"Like we need it." I mused, leaning against the railing as I took in the sounds of the ocean around me. Carlisle's hands ran along my sides and I turned toward him, grabbing the loops where his belt went through his pants to pull him closer toward me.

"So," I continued as he pressed me further back against the railing, hands at my neck and face now, pulling me into lingering kisses. "How stable is this furniture?"

He trailed kisses down my neck. "Care to find out?"

"I would, but I think we're both a bit overdressed for trying out said furniture." I murmured, tugging at his shirt now. My entire body was suddenly on fire with his touch - I wasn't sure how he always managed to bring my body back to life like that, but he was sure as hell good at it.

With ease and grace he scooped me up into his arms in one swift movement, not once breaking the kiss he had pulled me into again. My fingers found the buttons of his shirt as he carried me into the white room, brushing aside the sheer curtains of the bed.

Sometime later, we were curled within the blankets, hopelessly tangled in the sheets and each other.

"I love you." He murmured into my hair. "Did you ever look at your ring?"

"Not really." I murmured, a bit breathless as I traced circles on his chest. He reached for my hand and pulled off the silver ring, who's presence I had just gotten used to. He held it up, and I could see there was an inscription on it.

_My Angel._

I gave a small smile, sliding it back on my finger where it belonged.

"I still wonder how fate thought I was lucky enough to have you." He murmured, pressing a kiss against my temple, fingers trailing along my side.

"You deserve everything, Carlisle. You're the most kind-hearted man I've ever met." I assured. He needed to stop asking himself that - he deserved me in every way, shape, and form. If anything, I didn't deserve him.

"Want to watch the sunset and go for a midnight swim?" He asked after a moment, and I realized it was indeed getting dark. I nodded with a smile and managed to untangle myself from the sheets.

Part of me wanted to be rather lazy and just wrap myself in a blanket to go down to the beach, but I refrained, pulling on the dress Carlisle had easily pulled off of me hours before. He met me out on the deck, dressed in his clothes from earlier as well, before we headed down to the beach. The sand was still warn from the day's sunlight, and I reveled in the feel of it. It would be hard to believe we'd be back in the snow in a weeks time.

We sat in the sand until the sun had sank far below the horizon, before we went for a swim. Even the water was still warm.

I couldn't believe all of this was _mine_.

Correction - _ours_.

The rest of my week was spent in utter bliss. Carlisle and I spent the rest of our time divided between the ocean, beach, and trying out the strength of our other furniture. It was absolutely perfect, more than I had ever imaged it to be. I never wanted to leave.

Unfortunately for me, our honeymoon was cut short by two days when we received the call.

The shrill ring of Carlisle's cell phone echoed across the sand where we were reclined, pale skin glittering in the light. I glanced over, newly golden eyes falling on him as he reached for his phone. He had brought blood with us so that we wouldn't be starving by the time we go back.

"Hello?"

I couldn't hear the other side of the conversation - at least until whoever it was on the other end screamed. I sat up, instantly alarmed. Carlisle had already snapped the phone shut.

"What's happened? What's wrong?"

"Alice called . . .its the Volturi. They attacked."

"Oh, God." It felt like I had a lump stuck in my throat. _Oh, God._ If anything happened to any of them . . . . "We've got to go home, now."

Carlisle caught my gaze and I reached for his hand. He nodded.

"Let's go."


	11. Chapter 11

_**I had more planned for the ending, but I figured it would be fine the way I left it. Watch out: massive fluff toward the end.**_

_**Also, of course, I have another multi-chaptered story in the works.**_

_**I want to thank all of you for your wonderful reviews throughout my story - they mean a lot to me, because to me, they say I'm doing somethng right with the story for you guys to love it so much, and I'm glad you do! So, thanks!**_

_**Feel free to check out my other stories, and be on the watch for a new AU one coming out sometime soon.**_

Carlisle had one arm held out in front of me as I walked beside him, prepared to pull me back to protect me from any sort of attack as we approached the house. There was no noise coming from the house at all, which instantly alarmed me. There was a mix of scents that lingered to the point I couldn't separate them.

The front door was ajar, adding to my worry. He pushed it open and we stepped inside, Carlisle still taking a protective stance in front of me.

Everything was in a mess of disarray. Every bit of furniture I could see was broken, shattered, or flipped over. There were cracks in the walls – it looked like a heck of a fight had taken place. Just what had happened while we had been gone?

And where was my family?

Before I realized what had happened, Carlisle had me flung against the wall, a light switch digging into my back. I caught the scent a second later and knew why.

"Carlisle, my friend."

Carlisle stood in front of me like a gentlemen suddenly, and I frowned, looking at the vampire that had come around the corner. He was tall, and appeared quite young – but I knew he was probably older than time itself, by just how pale his skin was. His eyes were dark red and he had a cloak wrapped around his shoulders – he was part of the Volturi.

According to the capes of the others that appeared with to stand with him – including Jane, Alec, and Felix – they were all part of the Volturi. It had been a trap. My hand found Carlisle's and I moved to stand beside him so that we were facing them, together.

"Hello, Aro. You wouldn't have happened to see my family around?"

He gave a smile that gave me chills.

"They're perfectly safe. They're being held in a clearing not far from here." He gaze turned to me, and he extended a hand. "I don't believe we've met."

"Esme Cullen." I said briskly, not taking his hand. His smile disappeared.

"Fascinating, really." Aro murmured.

"What do you want, Aro?"

"You know why I'm here. You broke the rules. Two humans saw you attack a vampire, and while they may not understand what happened, they know you are not human. You know the laws." Aro said in the same tone – I had already decided I hated this man, and it confirmed it with the way he was looking and speaking to Carlisle.

"Aro, I -."

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. You are a dear friend to me, but I have to obey the laws." He looked back over at me. "Such a pity." He glanced behind him. "Felix, Alec, escort Mrs. Cullen here to the clearing with the others."

Carlisle's hand tightened against mine as Felix stepped forward with Alec, sweeping toward me. Carlisle pulled me in for a lingering kiss and our gazes locked.

"I love you." He whispered. It sounded like he was . . . _saying goodbye_.

Alec and Felix wrapped their hands around my arms and began to tug me way. On instinct, I pulled against them, struggling, trying to free myself.

"Let go of me!"

I fought a moment more before I looked back over at Carlisle – he almost looked defeated, in a way I had seen once before. The look he had given me upon returning to me – a broken, shattered look. I looked at Aro, then back at Carlisle.

They were going to kill him.

"Carlisle! No!" My screams were something I had never heard come from my own voice before, a sound I wasn't sure I had been capable of making. No. No. No. They couldn't kill Carlisle. "Let him go! He didn't do anything!"

"Now, Felix, Alec." Aro murmured quietly. I began my struggles anew, trying hard to get free of their grip and run to Carlisle.

_I love you,_ I mouthed at him, my throat suddenly blocked with a lump. I wanted to cry, but it wasn't until Felix and Alec had started dragging me through the trees did the hot venom tears start to trail down my cheeks.

Carlisle was being killed for helping me. For saving me. I was losing him. Again. My thoughts were a shattered mess, like my stone heart, and I could barely think coherently. It hurt physically, just like it had before, to know I would never see Carlisle again.

I felt a wave of calm crash into me all of a sudden and I looked up. Felix and Alec had dragged me into a clearing. There were at least twenty other Volturi members in the area, surrounding the place where the rest of my family and the Denalis stood, some sitting in the snow, some pacing. They looked up at my approach.

"Esme!" Alice cried and flung herself at me when I was shoved into the group. She pulled me into a hug that I could barely return. I caught Edward's gaze behind her as he held Bella tightly to him.

_Let me know when it happens_. I thought toward him and he nodded. They wouldn't kill Carlisle right away – Aro was his friend. Carlisle would plead with them, knowing him. He still had time yet.

I fell into the snow next to Emmett and Rosalie, Alice still holding onto me tightly. Emmett reached over and wrapped an arm around me as well, pulling us both closer in comfort. I kept my eyes on Edward though, waiting for some sign to let me know Carlisle's life had ended.

As I sat in the snow, however, I began to wonder if we could somehow overtake these Volturi members and get back to the house to save Carlisle. Edward looked at me as this thought ran through my mind, giving me a look that plainly asked '_are you insane?'_.

Beside me, Alice sat up suddenly, looking at me, and then at the others, and then at Edward. She apparently had a thought – he nodded after a moment, then looked at the others. They were communicating with their eyes, it seemed, and with minor motions the Volturi wouldn't detect since they were standing so far away. I caught some of them – they were taking my idea and planning with it.

It felt like forever, but I knew it had only been a few seconds when Edward suddenly moved, pressing a kiss to Bella's forehead. He and Tanya stood in unison, followed by Emmett, Rose, Eleazer, and Carmen. Alice and Kate stood, and then Jasper and Irina. Bella exchanged a glance with me before she too stood – I followed, understanding.

We would fight.

They had clearly lost the first fight, but I prayed it wouldn't be the case this time. They only difference now was the fact that they had me as a fighter – I wasn't really good enough to make much of a difference. Hopefully it would be enough.

The Volturi noticed our movement and suddenly became on edge, some of them going into defense positions – these were the experienced fighters, obviously, and knew when an attack was coming. The others took a moment longer to follow the others' leads, so I knew they were less skilled and easier to take out.

I saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye – Edward had moved in an attack. Seconds later, the rest of us followed, half colliding in mid air with various members of the Volturi.

One of them leapt toward me and my fingers twisted into their shirt and flung him back to where I could get a grip on his arm. My nails dug into his flesh - the thought that I was harming someone came to mind, but then I remembered that they had attacked my family. I wasn't about to let them get by with that. Filled with sudden rage, I ripped his arm out of socket and grabbed his head, twisting it and snapping it off. I pitched it several feet away and leaped over his body and onto the next one.

I tried not to think about what I was doing, killing wise, so instead I just focused on keeping myself alive. Nails raked down my back and I whirled, grabbing another head and ripping it off the shoulders. I felt others try and grab onto me, nails digging into my marble skin - I'd have marks for a while, if they looked as bad as they felt. I managed to keep them from biting me, thankfully, and avoided most of their attacks like Alice was able to do across the field.

One of them grabbed me and I whirled, trying to rip from their grasp, but the Volturi member kept his hold on my arm, trying to grab a hold of my hair so he could rip my head from my shoulders. I kicked him in the stomach as hard as I could, grabbed his hair with my other hand, and jerked, hearing his neck crack. I winced before ripping his head the rest of the way off. I peeled his hand off my arm off mine and watched his body collapse to the floor.

Fingers tangled in my hair and jerked me back - I screamed. There was a growl from behind and the fingers released.

"Mom!" Edward called - he had ripped the vampire off my hair. "His thoughts . . . The Volturi's thoughts . . . ."

"Go! Now!" Alice screamed from across the clearing and I understood instantly. I took off toward the house at a full run, sending snow flying in my wake.

I could only hope I wouldn't be too late.

The house came into view shortly, and I leapt up onto the deck, running through the open back door and back into the living room. Carlisle was on his knees in front of Aro, who had a hold of either side of his head. Two Volturi members had a hold of Carlisle's arms, holding him down in place.

All eyes turned toward me when I barreled through the door.

"Let him go." I snapped as several moved toward me. Aro raised a hand, stopping them. He turned toward me himself, stepping toward me.

"You are making a very silly mistake, Esme."

"You're about to kill my husband. I think you're the one making a mistake."

He smirked.

"I understand that you may not understand our rules, but considering the amount of time dear Carlisle lived with us, he knows them very well. He knows our punishment."

"He was saving me! From her!" I nodded toward Jane, who growled. "He had no choice since I was being attacked, for no reason. Besides, if he lived with you for so long, no doubt you two are pretty good friends - so why would you kill your friend?"

Aro cocked his head to one side as I spoke, stepping closer toward me.

"Show me." He whispered and extended a hand. I frowned, but extended my hand as well. He took mine in both of his and shut his eyes - I suddenly felt a probing presence in my mind. When I shut my eyes, I could feel memories being brought forward. They flashed in my mind as Aro sorted through them - I tried to bring up the one from that night. When I did, I let it play across my mind. Apparently Aro held the same gift as Edward, but he could only see thoughts and memories when touching someone.

After he saw that one, he began to sort through memories related to it.

After a moment, he withdrew his hand, and then glanced behind me. I turned - I hadn't noticed Emmett, Eleazer, and Alice come in behind me.

"You better leave now, Aro, before the rest of my family comes and destroys you like they're doing to your guard." Alice chimed in, all traces of her usual kindness gone from her tone.

"As Esme here had shown me, I have realized that the fault is ours that Carlisle here is about to be punished." Aro said slowly, turning toward Jane. "Jane, explain yourself. You said you were there on orders of me, that you were after Carlisle on orders of me. I never gave those orders."

Jane faltered slightly, stepping back. Aro made a motion with his hand and the two holding Carlisle released him, moving toward Jane instead. I went to him without hesitation, kneeling to his level, taking his face in my hands.

"Are you okay?" I whispered and he only nodded, looking more relieved than anything as he pulled me into a hug. I hugged him in return, thankful I would not be losing him again.

I heard a scream of terror behind me and I winced - Carlisle pulled me closer and I buried my face in the crook of his neck, trying hard to block out the terrible noise. There was a cracking sound and the screaming cut off – I heard the ripping noise that signaled body parts being torn from the body, the same sound I had listened to back in the clearing in the small fight we had put up, when I had ripped arms off of the guard.

I hoped Aro wouldn't take it too personally, since it appeared he was letting us go.

Hooking my arms under Carlisle, I helped him to his feet . He wrapped an arm tightly around me as he turned toward Aro, who was watching Jane's body being carried out, followed by her arms and head.

"No hard feelings, Carlisle. I apologize for Jane's incompetence. You can be assured that it will not happen again." He murmured and Carlisle nodded. Aro glanced back at the others that surrounded him and suddenly they were off, disappearing out of the house. Aro cast one more gaze at the rest of my family as they filed in the back, before he too disappeared.

Had it really happened that quickly? Was everything already over? It seemed like there was a catch, but after a moment, I realized they were not coming back.

Silence settled in.

Then, Emmett's laughter interrupted it.

"We kicked Volturi ass!"

That seemed to shatter everything, because then everyone was embracing, laughing, and talking animatedly now, about the fight. Alice and Tanya were already making plans on buying new furniture for the house. Emmett, Jasper, and Kate were enacting out parts of the fight with wild grins. Carlisle and I just stood and watched our family – and extended family – look so relieved. They didn't notice when we snuck away to the front porch.

"I thought I was going to lose you again." I admitted quietly, pressing a hand against his cheek.

"I promised I wouldn't leave again. I wasn't going to let him do it." He murmured and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I'm glad you're safe."

"So am I." I let his embrace surround me, taking in his scent for the longest of moments. I steadied myself - I had been more on edge than ever, and was only now starting to relax within my husband's arms. Were things truly over? I could only hope, because frankly, I was tired of it all. I just wanted to be left alone, for my family to be left alone, so we could live our lives.

"Esme, let me see your back." He said. It was then I remembered how my dress was shredded in the back and there were claw marks down my back.

"Really, it's nothing." I murmured as I turned and swept my hair aside. He moved the pieces of shredded dress aside and I felt his hand gently run down my spine. It took all I had not to shiver. His fingers traced other lines down my back, and I knew he was tracing the marks that dragged down my back. He didn't say anything, and a moment later I felt his lips along my spine, tracing the paths his fingers had just done. I knew instantly what he was doing - healing the marks with venom. I sat very still as he did.

He pulled my hair back down for me and turned me around when he finished.

"Thank you." I whispered, a bit breathless now. How the hell was it that Carlisle could still do that to me? Make me breathless with one touch, make my head spin with one kiss like he was doing now? I supposed I would have to get used to it though, if he was going to spend the rest of forever doing it.

"So what do we do now?" I asked after a moment of silence had passed. We leaned against the railing and Carlisle shrugged.

"We live the life we were meant to lead." He replied after a moment. I suppose he was right. Wasn't much left to do but live out eternity together with our family. I liked the sound of that particular idea. Perhaps, later on in life, the Volturi would bother us again, but for now, we would be left alone in peace.

I looked over at Carlisle, who was staring at me no. I arched a slender eyebrow curiously at him.

"What?"

"Just thinking." He mused. "Of how perfectly lucky I am."

"I could say the same thing."


End file.
